OMs, cycling, cakes and confusion Oh my Lord ;)

[SM34]

Help!! The roller coaster just came to a screeching halt....

So two days ago, my w goes to her dr and finds out she has an std. Typical story i guess. If you play with fire you get burned.

So since she had passed an std panel a few months back, she started digging around for what OM is upto. Turns out he has been cheating on the cheater since september!!

Now I had been sensing her moving closer to me and going to see him less and less and spending more and more time at home. She also started investing in our family...time and care, cooking, cleaning, and even using her new paychecks to pay mortgage and bills for once in her life.

So this is how it went down...

Me: how did dr visit go?
W: not good. Don't want to talk about it.
Me: okay.

Next day. ..

W: ok I'm ready to talk. I have <insert std name>.
Commence crying uncontrollably....
W: he's been cheating on me since september. I haven t been emotionally invested in the relationship for months now and I should have just ended it. <more crying and sobbing>. My gut told me I wasn't going in the right direction and i have no idea why I didn't listen to my gut.

I didn't say anything. I wanted to say you deserve it, but I bit my tongue. Kept quiet.

W: I'm so sorry I put you through this. I'm so stupid. <more crying>. How could I have been this stupid. Hes a piece of sh!t. I spent two hours t alking to the girl he cheated on me with and she had no idea. I told her to run for the hills.

Sob sob... I kept quiet.

W: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I did this to you. To us. I've been very stupid. I can't believe how stupid I was.

I gave her a brief hug and then pulled away.

Since then, she told her mom who then called me. Her mom said she told her she needed to fix the damage and focus on her marriage. Of course she got no response because as we know, people in that moment aren't thinking about their marriage. Their still too busy focusing on their selfish little existence. I told MIL that if W wants to fix it then she needs to act...no more talking. And that I feel marriage counseling is prenature. First she needs to see a therapist or at least talk to her mom in depth and get her head straight.

She's been emotionally wrecked since then. Not eating etc.. you know, the bomb diet that we've all been on before. Karma is a b!tch.

No mention of 'us' from me or her. I've been friendly and trying to keep her in a good mood but nothing over the top or emasculating. I got several apologees, but no attempt to say forgive me or whatever.

I'm not sure what to do now. What needs to be said by me, or by her? How does it go from here?

Should I extend an invitation back to the marriage? Should that be her doing the hard work? I'm not sure if she thinks I'm not interested anymore..

We would have to wait for std to clear up. And I kind of think celebacy would be good for her right now. I mean, i have learned so much during my alone time so maybe she could too.

She slept both nights in the guest bedroom still. Should I be inviting her back? I don't think so, but getting opinions wouldn't hurt.

It has come to an ugly ending just as we all know would happen. She hates him. She wants to kill him. She ruined his new fling and that woman is dumping his ass. And he is mad. I think its safe to say its over in one of the ways that an lbs could only hope for. Om cheating, an std, and a new fling. Ouch.

Any thoughts everyone? I need some direction. Nrbond, accuray, 25yearsmlc, sandi, cc, melissa, suckerpunch, adinva and everyone has who has helped me along the way. I need your input hers in a big way.

Where do I go from here?