Sorry you are here, yes it does bite the big one! You'll find many here who are very supportive and loving. Lurking is okay too! I do it all the time.
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Is there a reason? Do you not hate it? Do you not want to move and start over?
Moving and starting over at 50 something is not a positive thing for me. I seek stability, roots, and privacy. All that would be gone. If I reconciled and my H. wanted to go somewhere else, I'd consider it. But that is not happening and I don't want to uproot and move a whole household again. I moved a lot as a child and I long to stay put for now.
For me it is bittersweet. I have wanted an antique home for many years. I landscape and garden, have five dogs and the house isn't too big. I have two adult girls, and want to be able to be the home in the country, the respite. I am in a home that is under and to sell it would do nothing for me. I have antiques and a lovely kitchen. I'm in a small town juxtaposed to a major metro area.
Moving all that I have, and trying to find a place that would meet our needs would be far more trouble than trying to hang on. I do at times wish I could magically be in a place and not fret, but that isn't my reality. I have a daughter who also appreciates this home, and having a place in which to get away and feel at home.
Another factor for me, is that we are under, so no equity. To hang on will eventually bring us even or make a profit for the future.
It also can afford me an income, due to my location. So it isn't just emotional for me, it is pragmatic. I feel I would be throwing everything I worked on away. That just doesn't make any sense to me.
I have been here eight years, and it is my home. It isn't perfect, needs some more restoration upstairs, but it is home.
My husband ran away from home, and I want to prove to myself and my daughters that hard work and perseverance may overcome difficulty. Challenges are just that, challenges. That is where I am today, tomorrow may be very different.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
