Hello! 20 year marriage teetering... (part VI)

[Am I Too Late]

Hi AS,

I just got caught up on your new thread. It now seems that your former forgiving and near unconditional love for your W has been replaced by anger at how the WW is dismissive of the kids needs and feelings, along with your own indifference or ambivalence gaining steam.

It gets old to continue to be the punching bag for someone elses choices. I feel you needed to send that portion of the letter for yourself and your own personal boundaries.

You were not vindictive or placing guilt or shame upon your W, so recognize and feel good about defining your stance and last resort boundary.

In regards to that book by Dr. Willard Harley of the Marriage Builders Forum, His Needs, Her Needs.....

Dr. Harley himself states that this particular book is not appropriate for a Wayward Spouse's current foggy mindset. It allows for the WS to justify all of their many Emotional Needs that were not being met.

I also agree that there are a significant amount of WS's that refuse to acknowledge the changes so many LB Spouses have made. (They only realize it when it is too late for the LBS to still desire to R)

Oh well, i hope your Christmas vacation is filled with fun and joy with your chdren.

Take Care,

AITL