So sorry to hear about your friend, I do hope he gets the help he needs to feel better. So sad. It's hard to believe we can't see those things sometimes.
Sorry about the family tension, but I completely understand in your sitch why you would not want H to come back right now. He has a lot of cleaning up to do, if that happens. Family members can only go off of what they observe, they are not actually in the situation so they have no idea of the real dynamics. Try not to let it get you down Ttd. They mean well and I'm sure she thought she was helping in her own way.
I'm glad you got a great night's sleep, that does wonders for the PMA!
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
It certainly does do wonders for your PMA Pud I've been having a few bad nights because I've been wrestling with my conscious. It's not easy to stand down from your M and be attracted to someone who makes you feel good about yourself I've spoken to 2 Christians now and they've both said it's ok and that they're sure that God will understand My little cat is being a real pain tonight, lol. She's been playing with the Christmas tree, biting my son's calendar and is now pawing at the Christmas cards!! I should've given her turkey again tonight, she feel asleep after eating that, lol. I'm ok Pud, I'm not letting it get me down My PMA is flying high at the mo and even though I felt a bit let down today I picked myself up when I went round to my friends We all put the world to rights this evening, lol and we had some lovely food as well
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Me and my son went out today and had a bit of lunch in town. I saw my gay friend and he seemed very tired and low. Someone he works with says he's about 33% better today, but he's still not himself. I've started to notice now since it's been pointed out to me and it's hard to act as if everything is normal. I met a couple of people I know in town and one of them said it's a shame it's not worked out for you and your H. someone else who I had told that I've given up on him said that it was a shame. You're damned if you do and your damned if you don't, lol. I'm sure my parents will be delighted, but I'm not telling them unless I meet someone else. Can you imagine how much they will gloat and I will undoubtedly get I told you so's and telling me yet again how bad he was for me. I may have stood down from this m, but we're still friends and it still hurts when they talk about my H like they do. You can't dismiss 21 years of M in a blink of an eye.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Glad you had some quality time with your son. I spent about an hour on the xBox with mine. It has been decided that I am not a gamer, but that I'm really good at "camping" (which apparently means not moving). It was a pathetically hysterical hour, but we did both enjoy it .
I agree with staying friends. You're like me - we've still got to co-parent. If we're not friends with our H's co-parenting isn't going to be easy and it will be the kids that suffer.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
I may have stood down from this m, but we're still friends and it still hurts when they talk about my H like they do. You can't dismiss 21 years of M in a blink of an eye.
It is an annoying habit for people to hate on a person you love.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
Bladdered, I love that word as well. Thankfully I am a cheap person to get bladdered. Very rare I do get bladdered, but enjoy it very much when it happens. Glad you are getting out and GALing TTD180. The WAS family will be up and down, but mostly supporting the WAS. No matter what they do. Have you thought about chatting to the gay friend and validating some things, not to say you don't, but maybe now is the time he needs it. Anyway off for an early morning ride. It's going to be hot today - 35 to 38 degrees. Thank goodness for the pool in my house.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
HWA, you're a big fat show off, lol. It's hot and there's a pool in my house :P I'm only kidding with you I do chat with my gay friend, but he has friends closer than me and he's not told them what is wrong. He's getting professional help now and that's all that matters I don't want him to know that I know as he'll probably be feeling very embarrassed about it all. Anyone who goes out for a night out in their work clothes, already drunk and eating with their fingers is bound to feel embarrassed. If he wants to talk to me then I'll be there for him 2S2Q, you're so right, it doesn't help when others hate him for what he's done. I don't know though if I do still love him though, he's not the man I married but when others have a go I still feel like I want to defend him. NQ, I agree about being friends for the sake of our kids It does them no good at all to be enemies, what are we teaching them by that?
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
The big fat showoff, enjoyed riding over 200kms today. Lots of fun around the corners....woohoo. Then had a few people over for a swim, watermelon and enjoy the air cond. That's right the air cond, big bad hotwheelsaust, put that in, because I wanted my way. Bloody marvelous idea if I do say so. I wonder how the W is enjoying her hot day with no air cond and no pool.....actually I don't wonder.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
HWA, I am so happy for you You've finally got your life back Enjoy I'm hoping 2014 will be the year that I get my life back as well
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Can you imagine how much they will gloat and I will undoubtedly get I told you so's and telling me yet again how bad he was for me. I may have stood down from this m, but we're still friends and it still hurts when they talk about my H like they do. You can't dismiss 21 years of M in a blink of an eye.
Wise words, TTD! It's funny (or maybe sad) but the first thing that overwhelmed me when M 1 failed and then both crises with M 2, was that I felt embarrassed for failing. Isn't that silly? Especially given the D rate - even in my family, it's about to become 100% for me and my siblings (3x for my bro!) - although my poor long-suffering sister is getting dumped by her alcoholic husband she should have left years ago.
