not as scared or confused. . still hopeful (II)

[labug]

I have finally come to a realization and now I don't know what to do about it.

Here is the lead up. H and I had the first fight in a month yesterday. No fighting because really very minimal communication. Yesterday I found out he spent a huge chunk of money that wasn't budgeted. Maybe it was the holiday stress or maybe it was the final straw after months of him spending money and me not saying a word and going behind him and fixing of finances. IDk but I lost it. We agreed to table it and discuss budget this morning.

Morning comes and he says we will talk later and it hits me tthat our entire marriage has been me trying to get him to participate. To talk about money or kids or relationship and him always saying later.

So here is where the clouds part.. when he says he wants to be free and just do whatever he wants, that is what he had ALWAYS wanted.

And that just makes me sad. For him because I can imagine how trapped he felt. Sad for me because I spent so long with someone who never wanted the same kind of marriage I did. Sad for me because I still love him but now feel there is no hope for reconciliation because he now has the freedom be craves.

So now what do I do? Do I say anything to him?

You don't have to do anything more than what you're currently doing. Live your life and work to make it a good life. The answers you need will come.