If you need assistance, do not hesitate to ask your step dad. He was put in your path to let you know that you are not alone and that there are people in this world that are waiting to help you...all you have to do is ask and they'll be there for your. Things happen for a reason and believe me, the support is very much alive, especially around the holidays. Miracles do happen.
I'm glad to read that things went okay w/your visit to your mother's. I'm sure your D enjoy her gifts and was very pleased w/what she received from Santa. I feel for your nephew and I'm glad you told him that your h is unhappy w/himself. Kids take on so much of the guilt and think that because a parent leaves, it's because of them. Your D will open up more as time goes on...she's going to need to talk to you or someone, i.e., a friend/relative...but she will open up.
Please do not be shy...if you need help, ask your step father. He would be truly honored and proud to help you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Job. It is hard to ask for help but I will if I need to. My SIL wants us to move closer to them but I'd like to stay in this house as long as I can swing it. D doesn't need more change and my mother is only 5 minutes away if I need her. I've already had to get her to watch D since H left once and I'd like to know that support is there if I need it.
Very quiet day here. D played with toys and I read most of the day. I'm now thinking we have had the flu since we both kind of just sat around all day. I think she needed a day at home after being gone all week and most of yesterday. She sat in the chair with me a lot of the day.
I figured I'd start a count of how many days it would take for H to contact me re: D or anything. Well he text today. I figured it would be closer to the end of next week since he has visitation that weekend. Guess he proved me wrong. But I didn't initiate and kept it short and to the point. Trying to stay dim.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
Oh! I did see something wonderful yesterday. SIL's mother came and was talking and had been out delivering baked goods to people. Why wonderful? Well she has been severely depressed most of the last 10 years with the last 2 being almost catatonic. She would come to my mother's and just sit and never say a word, or cry uncontrollably! She finally checked herself into a treatment facility but was still depressed but not as bad. SIL told them about her mother saying she could never shut her brain off and couldn't stop the bad thoughts. SIL wanted them to try Adderall along with her depression meds. It worked! I haven't seen this woman happy in years but she was out visiting the shut ins this year!
So not only is this wonderful for her but it gives me hope that maybe H will someday be happy again, even if it's not here with me. Maybe D will get her dad back so that they don't spend the weekend barely speaking but enjoying each other.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
Uggg. OW is dedicating songs to him on a website. I need to stop checking it but I'd like to know if they break off. Sigh. Break it off already and hit rock bottom!
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
Stop going to the website. It's not helping you at all. If and when the affair dies, you'll know because your h will be walking around like a sad puppy and may even begin to have more contact w/you Until then...stay off the site.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I will say that even though he's dating (or EA) OW I have to keep in mind that she knows he's married and I'm sure she thinks I'm horrible due to what he's telling her but that I'm a better person. I haven't broken my vows or helped in the breaking up of a little girl's home. Even if they're in 'Wuv' right now that a relationship built by tearing down something that God ordained can't be as wonderful as they want it to seem.
Well I text H this afternoon about some medical appts for D. He got a bit snappy when I tried to ask him about support and paying for D's extracurricular activities (just who pays what and which month) so I said 'never mind, sorry to bother you'. I went and did some things and missed when he text back apologizing. He actually said 'I'm sorry' twice. I almost fell out!
I've been asking God for a sign that I'm headed in the right direction, doing the right thing. D and I went to return a few Christmas items and as we were sitting in traffic I was staring at the car in front of me and the license plate said PMA. LOL I'll take it.
My makeup came in today so I'm going to go play with it and throw all my old stuff out. I'm also thinking of trying Yoga at night when D goes to sleep. Anyone do yoga?
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
I do yoga and it is great! has helped me thru this a lot. it helps me stay in peace and balance. had a chuckle about your sign. I walked into church recently and said ok God, give me a message. The sermon that day was forgiveness. Well, I did ask...
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
LOL! That's why I usually don't ask because sometimes God has a wicked sense of humor!
OK I know we're supposed to validate when they are complaining but I'm having a hard time feeling compassion for H and his money woes. I get rambling text about how he has no money and I respond 'sorry' when I want to say 'you wanted this' and '[censored] to be you'. Anyone have any good neutral responses?
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
"H, I'm very sorry that you are having a difficult managing your money. Have you considered setting up a budget?"
"H, I'm sure you'll figure out how to make your money stretch from pay check to pay check."
"H, I hear you on the money issue, times are rough for all of us with the economy the way it is."
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Job. All I can hear when he complains is him blaming me for the situation and wanting me to tell him to cut back on support. I'll have to make sure to have a script next time.
Headed out to church, then to my mothers for lunch.
H-44 Me-43 D9 T-13 years M-12 years BD-8/21/13 Sep- 11/19/13 D in process
