I thought I was doing better. But today I am lost. Just in a dark place. Im just frightened I think, of the future. Worry about my girl starting college in this upheaval - wishing we had not planned her early graduation, its just so much.
Its hard and frightening for her too. It was supposed to be exciting. Now there isnt anything to counter balance the anxiety - with so many new unknowns.
I continue to be astounded that he would make this decision at this particular time. And it makes me feel like I do not know him at all. Like he is an amimal.
Because of my concerns with my daughter and my new job - which is some distance from our home - big changes - I am vulnerable and holding it together - but he sees it. He is trying to negotiate with me, terms of divorce. I refuse to participate in the conversation. But I do know that he apparantly thinks he is still in charge here and that I will believe he is doing what is best for me - but I know, from speaking to my attorney, that he is planning on screwing me.
I just dont get it. He loved me. How is this possible.
