Reaching out for support and advice!!

[bluesgal]

Well, I'm going to share a deeply personal and very embarrassing event that occurred over the holidays.

All 4 Christmas celebrations went well. H and I got along really well. A lot of smiles. A lot of time spent as a family. H did not attend one of my family Christmas's. He elected to stay home and relax stating that the stress level would be too high. Long story short, he visited his girlfriend that night. He has continued to lie about the PA.

The way that I found this out was at 3am yesterday. My H left our home at 12:45am and stated he wasn't feeling well and needed to take a drive. He came home 2 hours later and went to the basement. My phone buzzed that I had a text message. I answered it and what I saw still has me horrified. It was a pornographic image of my H that he had sent to his PA partner several months ago. Apparently they had a fight and she got angry with H and sent me that photo of him in retaliation.

I don't know what I'm more angry about. Him being so gross and reckless, or her sending that photo to me at 3am.

I want out of this mess. My kids will often grab my phone and check my messages. What if I'd left my phone in the kitchen and they'd seen that??

I confronted H b/c this is unacceptable. His behavior is reckless and disgusting.

My head is spinning. Of course, I know these things take place in relationships, certainly in PA, too. He had only known her a matter of weeks when he sent this. Gross.

My feelings were all over the map yesterday, but ended with anger. I still feel deep anger. I want him out of my home. How can someone claim to love their kids and have such harmful behavior? This was a major line crossed. I will have an ultimatum. H has apologized. Called me 3 times from work last night. He is embarrassed and admits his life is out of control. I don't know that I can recover from this.