Gotcha. I agree you should stay very far from the ex gf. If you respect her at all, you should give her the chance to have a happy family and get her head straight. To be honest, you really should stay away from mixed up girls like that. I can tell you from my own situation, that is very dangerous. I know my ex's friends almost ended up maimed and otherwise due to dynamics like that. I didn't exercise that option because I figured it out early enough - this wasn't about them, but rather about her. But I remember the thoughts and suggest you stay out of that kind of dynamic
As for the daughter and ex? Your C and L are both correct. Drop the rope with your ex. Mine is similar in many ways to what you describe. It wasn't until I stopped trying to defend or argue or otherwise acknowledge her ramblings that she began to taper off. I keep it to just business and insist she do the same.
My kids? My daughter is currently angry - she moved in with her mom and her mom's new husband (OM) when she was just shy of 16. Up until then, my daughter and I were very close. Her mom moved out the first time on Mother's day a few years earlier. She married the OM 9 months after the divorce was final.
The more I ignore my ex, the more she tries to get a response. Either directly or through my kids. And as she does, my kids gravitate more toward me.
Your ex is a loon. I have no respect for anyone that puts a child in the middle of a divorce to get at somebody. None. Take that ability off the table by not responding. Once you do that, you may see that there is very little you need to interact with your ex about.
And stay away from the mixed up crazies. It'll be healthier for you in the long run.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
