Limbo is the new normal

[NeedingMore]

HI Slow,

The holiday was filled with mixed emotions for me as well. I am fairly certain that all of us on these message boards may have had the same feelings there. As if this stuff isn't hard enough, we have to "endure" the holidays, try to enjoy them despite our situation, and still provide a happy experience/memory for our kids. SO HARD TO DO!!

My BF worked and I spent the holiday at my moms with my kids and some family. BF replied to my Merry Christmas text, but that was it. I know he was working, but a phone call would have been nice. Oh well. Didn't hear from him today, but for some reason don't care. I am feeling like it would be his privilege to call me, and if he doesn't take it...fine. I am sick of this whole situation. In no way am I giving up and I think we are doing OK, but I am giving up certain worries right now. I am a wonderful GF, a dedicated mom, and I have so much love in my heart to give. If my BF would rather work, and have some partial and weird version of our relationship, that's fine. I am just sick of worrying about it.

OK, sorry, I had a tangent there...but I want to share some of this attitude with you. That low blow you speak of sounds like it set you back a little, and the anticipation of what is to come with him taking the baby out is getting to you. I am the queen of looking too much into things. When I think about it, I always have been and it's a hard habit to break.

As for the acknowledgement to his family, maybe this is a baby step that he isn't quite ready for?? I totally understand why it bugs though!

You mentioned before that you H made you feel like he wanted you to include him more in things, like the Christmas gifts. Do you think that this is just his attempt to be more involved? I would just encourage it, praise it, and maybe even joke about it afterwards depending on how it goes. Let him know that you appreciate the break, and are proud of what a great dad he is. Force yourself to have a different perspective on it.

Anywho...I replied to another thread tonight and asked that person what they were doing for themselves. Aside from the recurring drama of your sitch, what are you interested in? What are you doing to nourish YOU, solely? Just curious. Maybe while he has S you can take a little time for you!? Massage? Movie? Pedicure? Maybe you already do this stuff, but I sometimes forget to do things that I REALLY enjoy. I may start a new topic/thread that focuses on us as DBers, where no R talk to allowed!