Divorce on the table, Hoping for miracle

[Groov]

Here's the update:

W came over late on christmas eve. She helped get the presents ready and then left. She came back at 8 am on christmas day. She came into my bedroom where the kids and I were. We got up and W said that she wanted to give me privacy while I put on some clothes.

Probably shouldn't have said this but I did: Said "we're still married."

Anyway got the christmas stuff going. It was great! We took lots of pics and had a great time watching the kids get excited!

At some point I asked to see the pics she took on her phone. She said I'll email you the pics. I said I just want to take a quick look to see. She finally conceaded her phone. While I was looking at the pics she was getting very anxious that I had her phone. She said that it made it uncomfortable that I was looking at her phone. I just looked at her and said why... I flipped the phone around and showed her I was just looking at the pics. She then said something like would you like it if someone was looking through your phone? I made a gesture to hand her my phone like I didn't mind. It came time to get some breakfast and I said we should make it. W said she will be having breakfast with a friend (divorced friend who doesn't have her kids this year) instead. So I got to see W and be a family for a whoppen 2 hours on christmas before she left. I let her know that we have lots of games for the kids and she was welcome to come back and play them with the kids. She aknowleged and thanked me then was out the door. Whatever W... she's got issues and it has nothing to do with me....

Thinking back on this I shouldn't have even asked to look at the phone. But it was telling. For the first time I saw her squirm and know that she is hiding stuff.

On top of this all, OM W keeps on contacting me, I have had a few conversations with her in which she is confirming that her H is lying to her. My W and He with W's family went to see some christmas lights and things. I suspect W's family doesn't know about the affair. Anyway OM told his W he was going to the lights and I was going to be there with my family. Which was a lie he told his W. I talked to my W about the evening and she didn't hide the fact the OM was there with his kids. Anyway all this doesn't matter except I have come to the conclusion that I will no longer have contact with OM or his W. OM's W sent me a text today saying she needs to talk to me. I ignored it....

So I am making the best of my holiday with the my kids. I have had them since tuesday and will be exchanging them this next sunday.

Oh on another note, I did give my W the Last resort Letter on Sunday. Felt it was the right time. We had a spiritual prayer and time with the kids and I saw the old normal W and felt it was right. I have no expectations but just wanted to journal that here.

Groov