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[Ambivalent]

My oldest daughter texted me last night with not only an apology but an insight. She knows she is in a bad place in her life and that she took it out on me. She even said I didn't deserve it! I accepted her apology and told her that I loved her with no conditions. I asked her to think of me every time she gazes at the sphinx we gave her, that I knew she needed him and I loved her so much that she should have him. If she needed space she has it, and if she needs me, I'm here. I let her know I was available for a movie if she still wanted to go to one. ============================================

Well I talked to the attorney for probably an hour and fifty minutes. I got a lot of information, took notes and asked many questions.

I wonder whether or not the house can be kept, due to the lien (s), If there is one, there could be more...Due to the fact that he handled all the finances, I may be able to file ignorance to what he was doing. I had some clue, but no details or complete understanding.

I would like to avoid any litigation and keep things businesslike. The attorney would represent me and I asked if he would deal with us both, he said yes and he would make it clear that he was representing my interests.

As long as his fiduciary responsibility is to me I would be amenable to trying to keep our costs down. I really hate the idea of attorney's battling out things and assassinating our characters. I don't want us hating each other.

Now with that said, the chances of us sharing one may be slim to none.

I'm disgusted that it is coming to this. That H couldn't come to me and really let me know the real financial scenario. I guess if the roles were reversed , and I hid it, I would be mortified. I suppose men tend to have their careers and finances as part of their identity, this whole mess has got to be so emasculating for him.

I am very frustrated that I've got a ton of work ahead of me, and my whole world is going to be shaken up again.

Thanks Job and Wonka. It is good to hear perspectives.

I have a hard time completely giving up hope. I just have this nagging feeling that this is just wrong for us.
I also feel like he is a proud individual and once he knows I know the whole story, he would have a difficult time coming back.
I get this sense he thinks that he has to do this...because it has been 7 months, as if this is a "logical" step. Not that he really wants this. Part of me wants to ask him this. Ask him if he is sure, or if he thinks that it is something he should do for me? I don't know if I'm articulating this well, but it is just a gut feeling I have.

He is looking for an easy out. How do people believe going through airing their dirty laundry to an attorney( stranger you have to face ), separating everything they have built, living in two households, tearing their children apart, and displacing another, is the easy way out?

I guess if I was a shrew and screamed and yelled, or called him names and bad mouthed him, he could find this easier. I haven't , I have been quite civil, actually down right friendly. I am not ready to see him with another individual, that would just wipe me out.
Also, I can't even begin to think of someone touching me in a romantic manner.

I guess I can do this, I just don't want to be shoved into an apartment complex or sandwiched in a tight townhome community. We've had privacy our whole married lives. I'm accustomed to this, not to mention I have a breed of dogs that "talk". I don't want to be a nuisance to anyone nearby or be stressed that I may be.

I'm feeling terribly melancholy.