Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

Well The Christmas tree I bought looked beautiful. It helped get me through the last week. Pretty much been going about my business without worrying what the W is thinking or doing.

When I bought the tree at the big box store I asked if there was anything she could think of that was needed for the house light bulbs, cleaning agents, etc. She said no but we cant really do any improvements on the house till we see what L say. I told her wasn't thinking that big right now just small cleaning things and such.

I told her I did not have a L I just consulted with one like I am sure she has. No response back to that. She did tell to be careful when filling the hot tub because she ran over the hose and now the metal is really sharp.

later she said that I was leaving lights on in the middle of the night. I said I left them on so you could see better when you got home. If you don't want me to I wont, she said no that is ok then.

When I cleaned the room where I was putting the tree. it looked 100% better and as I was preparing to scrub the carpet the W said I was planning on do that this week. Knowing that this is a pattern that starts arguments between with us,(her not liking me doing work that she perceives to be hers and getting upset when I try to do it. Then I say fine go ahead and do it and I get upset and walk away. Then she never ends up doing it causing resentment on my part. This is a big 180 on my part.)

I politely said no worries I am already dirty it is no problem at all.This time she didn't get upset. I believe because she knows she had 6 months to do this and no job so the house could have been much better taken care of in my absence. I have continued to do small fix it things around the house since I have moved back. Honestly, these things are such small things I have no idea why I didn't do them before just lazy I guess.

After the holidays I plan on starting to clean the other rooms in the house extremely well and paint them. Havent painted since we bought the house. One of her big things is she has said is I never took her took opinion into account. When it comes time to choose paint colors do I ask her what she likes? I would dearly love to keep the house even if we don't reconcile. Im not sure I can afford it on my own but I am looking into it. She thinks we are selling it hence, her earlier comment about repairs. She knows I love the house but I have told her I don't think I can afford to buy her out and do it on my own. So we must do everything like we are planning on selling.

I want her to have a hand in the repair choices because if things start to turn around we will already be heading in a direction with these upgrades that we both agreed on. Also if she sees what these repairs do to the home we bought together, It may show her that all these things we talked about doing are now getting done. Thus moving us forward instead of just treading water.

For myself personally, Just having a clean house has improved my mood markedly in a little over a week. I don't know if I can say the same for the W but this is for me not her.

She hasn't offered to help so I am doing it on my own like I promised myself. She did say she would dust around a collection of her figurines when I asked if I could move them to do it.

Are there any good conversation starters for someone in my position? I told her we didn't have to discuss day to day activities with each other. I watch TV upstairs and she watches downstairs. Is it worth it to ask if I can watch TV with her no matter what she is watching or is that considered pursuing. If she says yes or I don't care maybe casual conversation will start. I told her about a month ago that I missed talking with her about nothing in particular.

She did not accept my small Christmas gift so maybe I should delay asking to watch TV in the same room with her for awhile.