Sounds like a good day was had. Shame for her she couldn't enjoy it as much.
I remember during those times as well - my ex had all kinds of stomach issues. It was heartbreaking. Funny thing about these folks: the physical manifestations are pretty rough. I think she had back acne at the time too ('roids? (J/K)). It was tough to watch what stress can do to a person and even harder when we think we have the key to make it stop. For the record, we do not. They have to figure it out on their own.
And so it's better if we live our life and detach. While we'd like for it to be different or we'd like to have some control or influence, we only delay the healing if we do that.
That's something we can look back on later and see more clearly. Check with some of the old folks in the local old folks homes sometime - you'll see what I mean
You are doing very well and you are keeping a good pace with your own self. I admire that.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, J!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Your wife is trying to escape from her reality...let her do it.
J, ^^^^^^, I can confirm that via my W confirming it a couple times, in her own words, when she chose the movie on our anniversary "date" back in May: "I'm into fantasy, not reality, right now".
She chose a epic fantasy over the "chick flick"...and W is/was NOT an epic fantasy fan, at all, ever...lol.
I get what you are doing, the watching, I did it too...a lot!
The more I quit watching her (too much), the better I felt, the more present I was for my kids, the more detached I became.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Psst! You might want to consider starting a new thread. I'm poster 122.
It's difficult not to watch them, but it's far better to let them go because the time will go by much quicker and your focus will be elsewhere. Soon, you won't pay any attention to their behavior at all, hence the detachment. You can do this! It just takes practice and a whole lot of determination.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.