I think you put it out in a way that, hey im doing my work, now its up to you to do your part.
Its comes off as total pressure on her so YOU can proceed.
She isn't feeling like she could miss you, she now knows your there waiting for her. You are constantly making her feel YOUR emotional side of things, and making her feel guilty for them, or making sure you get your point across.
Everytime you make it about your feelings, your pushing her further and further away.
The 37 rules are a general set of rules to help you detach, make you more mysterious, help you deal with your own emotions in a non pressure way. Basically the whole set is a theory on how to conduct yourself, sure you can tweak a few, but they're there as a whole idea. I'm not sure you get the idea.
Where was the listening, where did you validate any of her feelings? Did she get a chance? or was she made to feel so guilty about not putting in the work and having a wall up?
The scary part is when she asked how she could have space without moving out. This is a HUGE red flag, again your response was only about the work you think you were doing. listen? validate?
The first paragraph, and responses were vague, even risky in a way that she could lose you cause your working on yourself? a maybe it will maybe it wont attitude. CORRECT!!! that's mysterious, that's about you working on you. Then you opened Pandora's box.
Ok, sorry, im going to put my 2x4 back in the closet. Try to forget I have it. If you read divorce rememdy, then I think you need to read it again.
