Oh ScottCat, just sorry. Hugs. One day at a time: perhaps start with a calm-as-possible conversation. She got your attention: having that conversation is a form of validation. Now to set boundaries, I suppose.

M 20 yrs
me 47
H 51
s11
d8

BD 10/8/13
H Moved out 11/30/13
OW slept over with children Dec '13
OW moved in w/H Jan '14