AJ-I made macadamia nut, chocolate chip, and sugar cookies last night. They were awesome and we have enjoyed them today. I always buy cookie dough from our schools girls basketball team for their fundraiser. The girls all know I'll buy, all they have to do is smile pretty and ask nice. I love cookies anyway.
I took the boys shopping for their mother Wednesday night. They both picked out a couple if things for her.
Lost-I would almost welcome her moving out at this point because it may speed up her process. It would also give me space to be me and continue to figure me out. She won't go, because leaving would be an admission of guilt and she would want the kids to move out with her, which would only happen over my cold, dead body. Chores are going to be fixed. Boys are home for 2 weeks and we are going to put together a schedule. Any help is great. Since I have asked very nicely for Some help from W at least with dishes and laundry, I have placed her a clothes basket upstairs to use for her clothes. She hasn't lifted a finger in 6 months. Enough is enough. If she wants clean clothes, she can wash them. I'll expect full venom and spew on that, but I'm tired of babying her.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
You just need to be prepared for the move out....that is all.
Good on getting the chores thing done with the boys. As for doing her laundry, yeah that one needs to stop LOL. You really do have a teenager on your hands (sorry....I just say the same thing to my kids...if you want clean clothes do them yourself).
Candlelight service was awesome. Reminded me that we all have the opportunity to start fresh. It's a time for new beginnings. I was proud to be there starting a new tradition with my boys. W went too.
First time my children have taken communion as well. Nice to teach them what that sacrament means. Especially this time of year. As we left church, are entire downtown area was lit with luminaries that our local churches had put out. Literally, the road was lined on both sides for about 2 miles. Another great reminder of what the lights at Christmas mean.
Merry Christmas will always mean more to me after tonight. I think maybe I finally got the message of the season for the first time in 39 years.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
First and foremost, I had a great day with my sons. I made sure that their day was special and that they were taken care of. I baked cinnamon rolls for everyone and we made personal pizzas for lunch. Took time to play with both boys on their new video games. Prize moments of the day: S10 finger knitted me a scarf in my school colors, made a home made box and wrapped it himself. S12 proceeded to climb up into my lap and snuggle with me after all presents were opened. Then went to see my maternal grandmother and all my extended family for supper. After that we visited MIL and some of her friends. Great day of visiting as I felt more comfortable than ever talking to people and most importantly listening to them.
Here's the rest of the story. W spent exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes downstairs as we opened presents this morning. She returned to her room and proceeded to sleep until after 2pm. She is so very broken. This woman who loved her children and lived for days like these was basically a non participant. I was talking to a good friend about it and cried for the first time in a while because it is obvious how badly broken she is. I miss her dearly.
At my family get together, happy face turned on again. She was talking and smiling until my cousin made a comment about her FB pictures. Cousin says, "Your husband J is never in any of your pictures on FB. I thought maybe you had divorced him. Ha Ha." W immediately cut her eyes at me and came back to sit down at the table. Making eye contact the whole time. I simply said, "It's that obvious." I didn't say another word and went on about my conversation with my other cousin. Truth dart from someone else?
W was distracted And wanted to leave to go see her mother just down the street. It was obvious after a while that she was uncomfortable after the above statement and was ready to escape. Went to the bathroom twice while we were there.
Next stop was uneventful. W was generally distracted while visiting with her mother. I did notice her and MIL trading insults about her father whom she has basically cutoff and not spoken to for 6 weeks. W went to the bathroom 3 times at this stop. This is a woman that before BD and this mess could go for 4 or 5 days without having a bowel movement. (Yuck, sorry) I finally asked her tonight if she was OK in that department. She said the stress must be affecting her intestines.
Straight to her room when we came home. I hugged up on both boys, laying with each of them and recounting their blessings from the day. When I went back by the MBR, he was putting a weight loss wrap on her tummy to lay down. I said to her, "I hope you had a good day too." Didn't wait for a response, just left her on the bed with her phone and her tummy wrap.
Christmas Day 2013 is over. I love my sons more than they will ever comprehend. I have tried to set an example for them and keep the ship afloat in stormy waters. I hope I succeeded for at least one day. Their mother is broken beyond belief. I miss my beautiful wife very much.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Biggest shock of the day was my cousin's comment about me being absent from all W's FB pics. W has gone to great lengths over the past 6-8 months to show the rest of the world a happy life with her and the boys. She will take pictures from angles so as not to get me in them. I noticed this crap several months ago when I was still looking at her FB. Glad someone called her out on it.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Sounds like you and the boys had a great day JFun. I'm so glad.
Truth darts are just that, darts, so it probably did shock her senses a bit that, odd I know, people noticed she's not including you when she is deliberately not including you. Lol. Such odd ducks they are!!!
Merry Christmas to you!!
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
That's interesting about the FB pictures. My H has done the same thing. He even requested that I delete any pictures of him on mine. But,like you,I don't even look at his page anymore. It's like they create a fake life for themselves online. It is frustrating and disgusting.
But, I am so proud of how you handled yourself with your kids! Keep up the class, honor, respect, etc. I know you know this, but your kids really need you right now... And you are doing a great job.
The good- I am glad you had a great day with the boys. You were being the rock they needed and you did what needed to be done.
The bad- You were way to hung up on your wife yesterday. I know that Christmas is an emotionally charged family time....very emotional. The truth is though....you were counting how often she went to the bathroom. I can almost guarantee you were hanging on her every word also. As for the FB pictures and cousin's comment....you definitely need to put that in the "as-if" box.
Your wife is trying to escape from her reality...let her do it. Rebuild and improve yours.....that is our focus.
Sorry about the 2x4...
Be warned also....another R convo should be coming your way.
Thanks everyone. I was counting bathroom trips because I've become afraid she's doing something to herself. I was still hung up on her yesterday. I know it. First time through the holidays. I figure there will be some backlash and mor R talk at some point.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
