Thanks, GM and LITB. I respect both of you so much.
I guess it just got worse. As I was packing up my stuff to leave my parents place my mom asked what time XW would be dropping off my S. I told her 9:00. She said that she want everyone (her, my dad, my BIL, sister, niece a nephew) to be there when he sees and opens his presents. My mom and sister still harbor negative feelings towards my XW. I basically asked that my mom let just me be at the house when she drops him off -- they could come by 10-15 after. I just wanted to avoid the tension.
My mom lost her sh*t.
She accused me of wanting to keep them away so I could open presents with XW, she called it a slight to her and said it "sux"....laid on the guilt and and said everyone worked so hard to wrap son's presents. She went off on me. I just took it without raising my voice -- I tried to explain, but she wasn't having it. I just said "I love you anyway, mom." -- and turned to walk away. She responded by saying "F*ck you!".
Yep - that hurt. I just went to my car in the driveway to leave. I turned the ignition and my mom busts out of the garage and throws the laundry basket I used to carry gifts back and forth onto the hood of my car rather forcefully and storms back into the house. Yep. That happened.
XW p*ssed at me, mom p*ssed at me....all from me trying to do the "right" things. Right now I just want to go upstairs and bury my face in the bed. I feel like I can't win and am being tested to the limits of what I can handle. I feel.....numb.
Crimson
So this was not my Christmas to have S this year. I had him till 6 Christmas Eve and then had to drop him off with XW. We had an awesome two days together - my sister is in town with her kids and husband and he played his heart out with his cousins. We went to the candle light Christmas Eve service at 5:00. As we were leaving, he reminded me that I hadn't given santa my list - I told him he was the best gift I ever received so I didn't really want anything! smile In my heart I knew I was about to give him bad news.