First and foremost, I had a great day with my sons. I made sure that their day was special and that they were taken care of. I baked cinnamon rolls for everyone and we made personal pizzas for lunch. Took time to play with both boys on their new video games. Prize moments of the day: S10 finger knitted me a scarf in my school colors, made a home made box and wrapped it himself. S12 proceeded to climb up into my lap and snuggle with me after all presents were opened. Then went to see my maternal grandmother and all my extended family for supper. After that we visited MIL and some of her friends. Great day of visiting as I felt more comfortable than ever talking to people and most importantly listening to them.
Here's the rest of the story. W spent exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes downstairs as we opened presents this morning. She returned to her room and proceeded to sleep until after 2pm. She is so very broken. This woman who loved her children and lived for days like these was basically a non participant. I was talking to a good friend about it and cried for the first time in a while because it is obvious how badly broken she is. I miss her dearly.
At my family get together, happy face turned on again. She was talking and smiling until my cousin made a comment about her FB pictures. Cousin says, "Your husband J is never in any of your pictures on FB. I thought maybe you had divorced him. Ha Ha." W immediately cut her eyes at me and came back to sit down at the table. Making eye contact the whole time. I simply said, "It's that obvious." I didn't say another word and went on about my conversation with my other cousin. Truth dart from someone else?
W was distracted And wanted to leave to go see her mother just down the street. It was obvious after a while that she was uncomfortable after the above statement and was ready to escape. Went to the bathroom twice while we were there.
Next stop was uneventful. W was generally distracted while visiting with her mother. I did notice her and MIL trading insults about her father whom she has basically cutoff and not spoken to for 6 weeks. W went to the bathroom 3 times at this stop. This is a woman that before BD and this mess could go for 4 or 5 days without having a bowel movement. (Yuck, sorry) I finally asked her tonight if she was OK in that department. She said the stress must be affecting her intestines.
Straight to her room when we came home. I hugged up on both boys, laying with each of them and recounting their blessings from the day. When I went back by the MBR, he was putting a weight loss wrap on her tummy to lay down. I said to her, "I hope you had a good day too." Didn't wait for a response, just left her on the bed with her phone and her tummy wrap.
Christmas Day 2013 is over. I love my sons more than they will ever comprehend. I have tried to set an example for them and keep the ship afloat in stormy waters. I hope I succeeded for at least one day. Their mother is broken beyond belief. I miss my beautiful wife very much.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
