I have had an amazing few days with my girls. They are the perfect age for Christmas. They love the lights, presents and songs. It is super super cute.
I'm not sure if I am DBing any more. I dont like my exH at all any more nor do I like how I feel when he is around.
He continues to try to gaslight me and make me feel like I am a B!tchy particularly when I am not interested in acting super fake and friendly when he picks up the girls. I never act mean or rude but its not a super happy moment saying goodbye to my kids on Christmas day.
My ex continues to act fakely nice and I am not interested in acting fake. being a single mom is hard hard work and something was missing by not having a Dad around at Christmas.
Today he emailed saying he would be a couple hours late picking up the girls because he misread his flight info and is landing later then he thought. Seriously, another vacation! Maybe he was at his girlfriends family Christmas? I really dont know, but this from a guy that likes to tell me how poor I have made him. I can not count the number of vacations he has taken since he left us.
New topic:
I spent Saturday Night and Sunday at my moms house for her Christmas party then we had a sleep over there with my cousin Jenn and her kids. Jenn got sober almost two years ago after losing her job, crashing her car and really just being a lunatic and terrible mother during that time of heavy heavy drinking.
While in AA she meet a man and is now divorcing her husband. SHe and her husband did not have the best relationship but that is because she was an insane alcoholic. Her H was kind and decent guy who always contributed at family gatherings most of all he has always been a great dad.
So back to this weekend - Sunday, we are all going ice skating, her kids and mine and Jenn brings her new boyfriend. This is not the first time her kids have met him.
Meeting this boyfriend triggered so many emotions in me. I didnt know how I was supposed to act. If I was nice and polite to new guy was I somehow betraying myself and all LBS? Should I go off on my cousin for bringing this guy to my mothers house?
The kids being around made it simple to stay cool and act politely to this guy. I also remembered my Alanon and DBing that I wasnt going to change anyone behavior all I could do was control my own.
I acted polite and friendly with new guy and he was very different from Jen's STBX. He was older and definitely more socially comfortable then her ex who was an awkard guy. What was really interesting was watching my cousin bite her own tongue and change her behavior around the new guy. She still thinks the new guy is super cool but wait till the reality sets in and they have the same, you left the cap off the toothpaste problems she had with her ex.
It was definitely a good expeience for me because I wondered how my exH family could allow his other woman into their homes and now I know how. They just grin and bear it and wonder to themselves why is this other person worth doing this to the kids.
Okay one other thing:
Two weeks ago during the kid exchange exH says to me "D3 said that thing again" I said "what thing" He said "D3 said that Mommy doesnt like OW and I hope you arent telling the girls that" I told him that I had only said that once several months ago but hadnt said it again since the last time he mentioned it.
I wanted to punch him. He left us for another woman and I am being scolded for saying I dont like other woman. I could be filling our girls heads with a lot more negative stuff then that. A LOT. Give me a break. I am a human being with feelings and a soul - exH is a robot alien.
Meanwhile D3 has mentioned OW to me in passing and said to me " mommy I know you dont like OW" and now I have said "D3, I do like OW"
All is good. Enjoy your holidays with your families.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
