Wow, that is how I feel. Right now I am spending my first Christmas alone, ever. Okay 1983 I was alone in Germany, waiting for my now X to get in right after the new year. But I was part of a couple and not alone in that sense.
So I am alone. Not dating anyone. Not even worried. I am busy all the time it seems. Always something to do around here.
I am happier than I was last year. I miss my kids like crazy. And my granddaughters even more. But we are all moving forward, making our separate ways into our futures. I no longer cry like a faucet. Thank goodness. I have some sadness, feel a little anxiety. But nothing like before.
I have learned so much from this site. And I think about how my X said so many mean things, and I let them sink in and hurt me. Now I realize how darn childish he is and mean. In all the anger, hurt and betrayal I never called him names, never called out his faults (as I see them) to his face, never belittled his body. I have had to work really hard to get past all that.
Mostly I know mow that I am only responsible for making myself happy. And I am working on doing just that!
My Christmas Day plan is to go look for shells, stand-up paddle and maybe lift some weights. If I can time the tides and winds right I also might go for a reef/tide pool exploring walk. It is a flexible plan.
I work Thursday and Friday. Thursday I might buy a new SUP board. I've been wanting two, to cover different conditions. And that way when I have a friend along they don't have to rent one. But I'm saying right now: Dibs on the PINK one!
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
