Well I've decided to slowly start sorting and packing her things. I will also be packing my stuff that I won't need for awhile. I know this will be hard. It was nerve wrecking just to make room in the storage unit. I feel I have no choice here. I've thought about it enough.
I can't keep going on this way. She's been gone nearly 6 weeks. It's horrible I have to be the one to do this alone but she wants to avoid. We also have a lot of cats and I don't know if she's even concerned about them. I'm sure she is but I believe she's expecting me to stay here and work for her parents while she runs around, has fun, and no real responsibility.
I, at some point, feel I need to inform her that:
Things are packed and I can't send what she's asking for. My stuff is also being packed. And our insurance policies will soon be changed. She's having an affair so I'm not sending money. And I'm moving soon.
This will be me standing up for myself. Which is something I haven't done in some time (180) and she won't expect. If she does want to divorce this will push that or at least make some reality come into focus for her, I hope. If she's set on divorce then we move to that. If she needs to check for greener pastures and stay in a confused fantasy land well I'll decide what I want from there on. I've done all I could.
I know she expects me to stay here. She's not expecting me to stand my ground and make life changes for me without her. She knows I still love and want to be with her. She says she wants divorce and seeing someone else. If that is what she truly wants then I need to stand up and move on.
Telling her the above things will be hard for me but I believe I need to. It also shows I won't be waiting around. I'm living my life. Will it change her mind? Maybe not. Will she see that I won't be waiting for her? Or feel that she is losing me? Idk. I'm hoping it will but I'm doubtful...
I want to be with her but I can't stay stuck hoping it will happen. It's all in her time.
