So last my H finally opened up a bit about what's going on. Among other things he mentioned he felt weird that I didn't include him more in Christmas shopping for my kids. It never even occurred to me to include him this year so I felt legitimately bad about it. He also mentioned some other things that prompted a more intense conversation than I expected. He hit me with an unintentional low blow that made me cry for the first time in a long time. But by the end of the night I felt we had actually grown closer. I was disappointed in myself for some back sliding but was really proud of him for how he handled himself.
It's tough to know what's backsliding vs what is just rebuilding. I brought up, for example that I don't understand why he doesn't want his mom to know we are working things out. During dBing I should just let it go, but in a rebuilt relationship it's something that needs addressed. Just a learning process I guess.
I also used the conversation as a springboard to tell him I lost my rings. He asked if it was on purpose, I said no, and the conversation continued on to other topics. I feel pretty good having that off my chest, and relieved that it doesn't have to come up when he arrives for Christmas this afternoon.
Lastly, I've realized I have some adjusting to do in how I give him space and support. I've been trying to not nag or guilt him on missing things due to work or being tired. It seems like me being laid back and the body language I use gives him the impression that I don't care or am pushing him away. Lesson learned - time to tweak things again
BD: Aug 2012 Separated since May 2013 S born Aug 2013 Aug 2013 H agrees to consider 'baby steps toward working things out' H is/was actively seeing someone?
