Aiming for the PMA of a glow worm....pt 3

[Not Quitting]

When I woke up on Christmas Eve 2012 I had no idea that by the end of the day my world would have come crashing down around my ears. Yep, it was while wrapping presents last Christmas Eve that my H looked me in the eyes and gave me that speech. Given that, I wasn't sure how I was going to feel when I woke up this morning.

Truth is - I am great! I have come a long way since then. I have rediscovered an inner strength that I had lost early in my M due to a family tragedy. I have made a lot of new friends. I have changed my whole outlook on life, and apparently, according to the ladies at work, have such a positive glow about me these days. I am financially stronger and better organized than we jointly were, down to the point that I have the spare money to put a regular monthly contribution into a college fund for my son and also put money into a savings account every month. It might have cost me my credit rating because it took a consumer proposal to get to that point, but it was worth it. Twelve months ago I would never have considered actively participating in a forum like this or in the FB group. I’ve changed my hair style to something I prefer rather than wearing it as my H preferred, and as I buy new clothes I am buying a completely different style and in much brighter colours than I would have done before.

There are only a few of us at work today, so those of us that are in aren’t really working. We’ve been talking. I’ve been told by one of them that I am a completely different person than I was when she started working here. She commented that I am more outgoing, more confident and more stylish; that when she started she thought I’d happily disappear into the wall if I thought anyone was watching me but that now I am the opposite. She also stated that it is a definite improvement and that I had better not go back to how I was before.

I know that I don’t need my H in my life. And to be perfectly honest, I’m not even sure that I want him back in my life. Yes, I still have feelings for him, but I’m not sure that it’s love any more. And although it is the first Christmas that he won’t physically be at home, he wasn’t emotionally or mentally there last year.

Merry Christmas to all my DB friends. Thank you for your help and support over the last twelve months .