I focused a lot on "how will she see the changes?" as well. I am a little over 3 months in and let me tell you she won't notice them. Even if she does, she will not believe they are permanent. The better I get, the more absurd or worse my wife seems to get to me. It's as if I'm trading my bad to her, and getting what used to be good in her. She keeps trying to come across as the martyr, but we know that the WAS is all jacked up in the head.
The changes really are for you, not her. You are in charge of your happiness. Decide what you have needed to address in yourself for a long time and address it. Be very truthful with yourself. Write down a list of the qualities you need to improve.
What does ideal paul look like to you? Become that paul, not the paul you are now. If you truly change, those changes will present themselves in every reaction and your other relationships. I know that my changes have.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
