Once you begin to see the affects of MCL on a spouse....it is sad!!! As you seem to be doing though....keep yourself emotional removed from that sadness. Keep being the rock for your children with the knowledge that at the current moment you are the only rock they have to stand on....to talk with....to be the shoulder of strength. I hate to be the bringer of reality, but there is a good chance she moves out. The way I see things that also means there is a good chance you become the main parent....So part of this journey is preparing for that....not just yourself, but your boys and household.
As for the chores...don't expect any help because it is like expecting to find water on the moon. It may happen, but hopefully you aren't holding your breath.
As your parenting situation is a lot like mine, I will tell you a secret and offer a solution.
The secret.....shhhhh, don't tell a soul.....This is between you and i......no one else;
Chores don't HAVE to be done....They get done when you get to them!! The world will not end if there are dirty dishes in the sink, the bathroom is slightly dirty, or the kids have a pile of dirty clothes.....trust me on that.
Now the solutions (you may already do this, but if not):
Dishes- s10 loads the dishwasher and s12 puts them away (since he is probably taller)
Trash-perfect chore for either boy
Litter boxes and feeding animals-Switch this daily between the boys
Laundry- Teach the boys to do their own
Floors- Once again...pushing a vacuum, swing a broom, or pushing a mop can be done by the boys
If the boys are only 25% successful in these chores it will make your life easier and better yet....it will teach them how to take care of themselves. You will have to follow up....probably redo things more than once....but you will have less work to do overall.
