Bright, I'm glad your son and his GF got a tree and you've decorated it. The smell of a "live" tree is wonderful and really puts you in a festive mood. I do hope that you and your family can enjoy the holiday and leave the mlc monster outside for the day. It's a day to be w/your family, relax and enjoy each other's company.
Merry Christmas!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
BF I am also rooting for you. The tree sounds lovely and. It's very sweet tha. Your son and GF did this for you. I wish you a very merry Christmas and send you positive thoughts and strength
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thanks everybody for the wishes. We didn’t have a traditional Christmas. My sister invited me for dinner one night and before that we went downtown to look at the lights and eat. We had a good time.
I’ve been lurking here reading other treads during the past few days. The holidays are almost over for a lot of people. I’ve read some positive updates about the Christmas celebration, and some that were not so good. It is just starting for me though. H never wanted to celebrate Christmas and we never did any gifts. We went to other people’s dinners sometimes and he sent the cards and gifts to his family and friends. We always celebrated New Years with my sister’s family. We exchanged gifts and cards. My son also was getting his presents for the New Years, but not for Christmas.
So, as it was expected I didn’t get any messages from H, except an e-mail thanking me for depositing his check into his account and him transferring the money for the condo mortgage. I’m preparing myself mentally for Sunday or Monday when he is supposed to pick up his car and “stuff”.
I just had a couple of glasses of wine and now I’m getting ready to sort some of his things out and pack his remaining clothes, so I could give it to him when he comes. He didn’t ask for that, but I’m assuming that this is what he meant by the “stuff” in his e-mail. I already have a couple of boxes with his stuff sitting in the garage. I think I’m finally accepting the thought that this is over. It makes me feel sad, but I need to live up to my thread title and truly move on, so I can come back to a new life.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Just got through some stuff… Found some cards and post cards from H to me from the past. He sent me the post cards from everywhere he traveled for work, with love messages, saying that he missed me and could not wait to get home to see me. Some of the cards were with the same messages. I cried my eyes out. I guess he did love me at some time. Cannot decide what to do with these cards now…
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I would keep them. Even if you don't reconcile you may enjoy looking at them one day down the road when the pain of this all isn't so fresh in your mind and heart.
You can always get rid of them later, when you are sure what they mean to you or don't. But if you get rid of them now you can never get them back again if you change your mind and that would be awful. Don't make any big decisions when you are emotional, right?
Remember, at this point you are still doing some mind reading about what "stuff" he intends to take. Yes, it is probably wise to prepare yourself for him taking all of it, but he might not. Have you considered what you want to do or say if he doesn't take everything? In your expecting the worst, I hope you aren't setting yourself up to be taken off guard by other possible outcomes.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Hi bright it's good to read your update. I think you are better packing up his stuff too even though you are not yet sure about wha he wants.
Of course he loved you. They all loved us... It's them rewriting history in order to justify their current decisions and perceptions. They did love us and it was real.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Bright, I'm sorry that you are having some down days. It's okay to pack his stuff up...but he may not take any of it when he comes...that is unless you push him to do so.
As for the postcards, store them in a shoebox and place the box on a shelf in the closet. Some day, when you aren't emotional, you can decide what to do w/them. When you are emotional, you are too tempted to toss things out that you can't recover once they are gone. Do this type of cleaning when you are calm and at peace and can think straight w/o getting emotional.
Your h, like many of them, does love you, but his emotional mess is coming to the surface. Sort of reminds me of the Grinch in "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas". Some day, when his emotional crisis has ended, he'll come to realize that he had the best of the best when he w/you. Whether he will admit it and attempt to return...well...that's in the future.
Please be kind to yourself. It's important that you take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
