wife moved to.parents house last week scared

[paul19510]

hi. I just finished wrapping the gifts. no so much his year. We had to divide it between households. I don't let her see me cry. I don't let my kids see it either. Just spent the last hour crying while I wrapped. this is the first in 17 Christmases alone. I hung her stocking with all of ours. I ant the kids to see that I intend to honor my family until I have nothing left to do.

My family is frustrated with me what I'm not just letting her go. I have complained about this marriage for years and yet, now that I am looking at this place, I find myself reluctant to let go.

W cried when I told her about my two kids (D 13 S12) playing ice hockey together for the first time. I told her, I didn't send pix because I am respecting her wish for space and only communicating where needed. She told me she would have appreciated pix. So I sent them. I hear the sorrow and pain in her voice...but within a sentence or two, the claws come out.

I wanted a better marriage and said so in an open letter in Nov. We lead separate lives and I didn't want that. Now she bolted. I didn't want that either. Was she just using the marriage as a safe place all these years and never really cared? this haunts me. I am supposed to be happy. I got what I wanted, if we split, I got my kids and house. I am not doing anything now that I haven't been doing for the past 2-3 years. She's just not here. Why does this hurt so bad???