Sending you a hug Rose. I think this time of year is just THAT much harder on us LBSes. We have all these memories of what this time of year is supposed to be like, and our current situations by comparison feel like a really a big disappointment.
Don't be disappointed in yourself. You aren't the only one struggling through feelings like this right now. This time of year is extra hard. Love yourself Rose, let your kids love you... and remember that your H just isn't capable right now, but that isn't your fault.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."