Portia, Heather, Bright thank you all for keeping me going each day. Heather, thanks for being my personal bouncer. Bright, I know, it seems like you and I are in the same spot right now, same emotions. It's good to know I have a great ally.
Some weirdness in the land of OZ...
I came home and H was here and had just gotten home. My S was out and had been out all day with a friend to celebrate his birthday. So it was just H and me. This is the first time I have been alone with him and I didn't feel nervous or awkward.
He kind of looked me up and down as I took my coat off. I did look kind of cute today. He asked me where S was and I told him. He goes Oh yeah that's right. Then I was chatting to the dogs and hugging them hello.
He went downstairs to do some stuff, so I started to make myself dinner. Kielbasa, small potatoes and a salad. I was cooking and singing in the kitchen and making a yummy dinner.
He came up a bit later and said 'so what are you making yourself?' I thought that was odd, I clearly was making enough for all and he said it as if I was a separate entity, lol. I guess I am right now. But it sounded kind of forlorn the way he said it too. So I said sausage, potatoes and a salad. Then he left the kitchen all quiet and went into the living room to watch tv.
I then came out with my dinner and sat down. I said 'You can have some of this too'. He mumbled 'oh no, I'll get something later'. I said 'Well if your hungry you can have some, there is plenty'. He said 'well, ok...' Still sounding kind of like oh woe is me, feeling sorry for himself. Bi-zarre.
So in a few minutes he got up and helped himself to the dinner. He came out and practically wolfed it down. I thought, oh not hungry much?, He then went and got another helping. Funny how odd this was to watch.
Then he asked about the christmas stockings because I haven't gotten them out yet. I said they were downstairs in the one box I didn't bring up. I asked him about work, just because it seemed like he needed to unload his brain. He then just spilled all this political stuff at work and how he couldn't stand certain people and listening to them and on, and on, and on...
I validated saying Oh that sounds awful and so what did they say, and how did that make you feel, etc. He really needed to get that out!
He then started to go downstairs and asked if we need to get more stocking stuffers. I said I had some for our S so he could get more if he wanted too. I then said 'are you going to be around for christmas?' He said 'Yes! Yes I am'. That was so nice to hear. Not that it won't change but just nice to hear. He even said that with a smile in his tone.
He came back upstairs in a few minutes and said 'Oh I got the report back on the polyp from my colonoscopy'. So I said 'And?'
He said that the one polyp was benign and there was only one. I said 'Well that's great news! How does that make you feel?' <---validation!! He said 'It feels really good, after all my (younger) brother had over 30 of them'. I said 'Well did you call your mom? I know she was really concerned for you all'. He said no, but said that he would and yeah he probably should.
Oh and earlier when we were watching tv, the weatherman was saying how he just wanted to see one flake of snow, one flake. I said jokingly to H, 'Well I've got my one flake!' and laughed. He didn't look at me but held up his hand like acknowledging that he was my one flake, lol. He smirked a little too. He said 'What, me?' I said, yeah just joking with ya. He smiled a bit.
Sooooooo, it was odd because he seemed to be having an internal pity party, but yet also had a lot to unload from his brain today.
I had thought that if he told me he wouldn't be around for Christmas that day, that I was going to tell him to take all of his clothes as well and move out. I didn't have to do that...not yet. Interesting how things just turn so quickly but yet so slow too.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Portia, Heather, Bright thank you all for keeping me going each day. Heather, thanks for being my personal bouncer. Bright, I know, it seems like you and I are in the same spot right now, same emotions. It's good to know I have a great ally.
Some weirdness in the land of OZ...
I came home and H was here and had just gotten home. My S was out and had been out all day with a friend to celebrate his birthday. So it was just H and me. This is the first time I have been alone with him and I didn't feel nervous or awkward.
He kind of looked me up and down as I took my coat off. I did look kind of cute today. He asked me where S was and I told him. He goes Oh yeah that's right. Then I was chatting to the dogs and hugging them hello.
He went downstairs to do some stuff, so I started to make myself dinner. Kielbasa, small potatoes and a salad. I was cooking and singing in the kitchen and making a yummy dinner.
He came up a bit later and said 'so what are you making yourself?' I thought that was odd, I clearly was making enough for all and he said it as if I was a separate entity, lol. I guess I am right now. But it sounded kind of forlorn the way he said it too. So I said sausage, potatoes and a salad. Then he left the kitchen all quiet and went into the living room to watch tv.
I then came out with my dinner and sat down. I said 'You can have some of this too'. He mumbled 'oh no, I'll get something later'. I said 'Well if your hungry you can have some, there is plenty'. He said 'well, ok...' Still sounding kind of like oh woe is me, feeling sorry for himself. Bi-zarre.
So in a few minutes he got up and helped himself to the dinner. He came out and practically wolfed it down. I thought, oh not hungry much?, He then went and got another helping. Funny how odd this was to watch.
Then he asked about the christmas stockings because I haven't gotten them out yet. I said they were downstairs in the one box I didn't bring up. I asked him about work, just because it seemed like he needed to unload his brain. He then just spilled all this political stuff at work and how he couldn't stand certain people and listening to them and on, and on, and on...
I validated saying Oh that sounds awful and so what did they say, and how did that make you feel, etc. He really needed to get that out!
He then started to go downstairs and asked if we need to get more stocking stuffers. I said I had some for our S so he could get more if he wanted too. I then said 'are you going to be around for christmas?' He said 'Yes! Yes I am'. That was so nice to hear. Not that it won't change but just nice to hear. He even said that with a smile in his tone.
He came back upstairs in a few minutes and said 'Oh I got the report back on the polyp from my colonoscopy'. So I said 'And?'
He said that the one polyp was benign and there was only one. I said 'Well that's great news! How does that make you feel?' <---validation!! He said 'It feels really good, after all my (younger) brother had over 30 of them'. I said 'Well did you call your mom? I know she was really concerned for you all'. He said no, but said that he would and yeah he probably should.
Oh and earlier when we were watching tv, the weatherman was saying how he just wanted to see one flake of snow, one flake. I said jokingly to H, 'Well I've got my one flake!' and laughed. He didn't look at me but held up his hand like acknowledging that he was my one flake, lol. He smirked a little too. He said 'What, me?' I said, yeah just joking with ya. He smiled a bit.
Sooooooo, it was odd because he seemed to be having an internal pity party, but yet also had a lot to unload from his brain today.
I had thought that if he told me he wouldn't be around for Christmas that day, that I was going to tell him to take all of his clothes as well and move out. I didn't have to do that...not yet. Interesting how things just turn so quickly but yet so slow too.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
I am glad things with your H were better today. I would have hated to hear you had to throw him out right before Christmas. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your son and H.
me-35 WAS-37 T-16 1/2 Son-14 (HF Aspergers) BD,ILYBINILWY,"I met my soulmate": Oct5,2013 "Letting go because I love him, holding on because I love him."
Pud, I so see my H in this dinner story. He did something like that last year while he as in the house for a few days (painting doors, shish.) It was not dinners though, but he gladly ate the leftovers I had in refrigerator.
What I can see here is that he is definitely looking for some comfort and validation from you. This is a good sign. I hope you have a great Christmas!
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Glad you're in a better place at the mo Pud It's not as bad as it has been so hopefully Christmas with be ok I would like you wish you a very merry (hic!) Christmas as well (((hugs)))
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Bright, thanks for telling me that observation. I don't notice these things when I tell the story so it's good to see it from another's view. You are right now that you said that, I see that he was looking for some type of comfort. Very interesting.
3, you too, good lady!
Ttd, LOL! have a merry (hic) christmas too
Hope everyone on here has a great holiday and get out to do something they enjoy, whether alone or with family. We deserve it.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Merry Christmas Pud! I wish you and your family all of the best. I hope H keeps moving forwRd with you
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Bright, I know, it seems like you and I are in the same spot right now, same emotions. It's good to know I have a great ally.