I agree with you both and I don't discourage our children not to speak to their father he will always be their father...but they are now grown and speak their minds I want them to have a relationship with him with or without me,but our 19 yr.old is very angry with her dad because all she wants is just a father daughter time with only him and he wont do it. I told her forgiveness heals us and she needs to forgive her dad. But I cant get her to understand that and as far as my new SIL he treats my grandaughters just wonderful and my daughter as well and I do thank him but I was just trying to see why my ex and my daughters new hubbby why it is so important for acceptance of the new person?
