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[Ambivalent]

My oldest has found a job, but she refuses to stop coming to her "daddy" for help. Add to that, he enables her by bailing her out EVERY SINGLE TIME. My second is going to school full time, has taken a part-time job, and has already applied for a second job. Between the two, my second has the work ethic.

I cannot control what my husband does with the money. My oldest fills my husband's need to have someone see him as a hero, or needed.

I on the other hand, am a burden because he's done with me. SO frustrating. I know the secrets and it's going to get worse as he finds out how much I now know.

Yes I want to pay for some of the bills, I want him to see that there ARE other ways and not to just give up due to his inability to see other options.

I am not going to let them ruin our Christmas. I'm just dealing with so much at one time. I am trying to keep my head as well as thinking as creatively as I can. The sooner the better.

I just want a commitment that he'll continue and not let it go under. If I can get that, I can immediately place ads. This will ease some pressure.

This is why I want to respond sooner, so he pays December and doesn't dig a deeper hole.

I hope this makes sense, this house has many options for income, shelter, and future funds ( I have berries, and other flora from which I make things to sell ).That alone can pay for either heating propane or even someone to mow the property.
So time IS of the essence while keeping the lines open and keep things from getting to the point of no return.

I don't want to file for divorce, I would RATHER go for a separation agreement. It would buy time, for me with the house while not having to scramble to find a home; and possibly him to go further through the tunnel ( I'm not counting on it, but it IS a possibility ) . It would ease some stress and allow me to prove I can do it.

That is why I would like some suggestions as to share how I can contribute and that it isn't as bleak as it seems.