Yeah, that's kind of what I meant, but after writing it I realized it wasn't the most supportive thing to write on a forum where we are trying to save our Ms.
s4tk
_________________________ Me: 37 W: 37 M: 11 D:5 S:2 IDLYA, W removed rings, BD 07/13 EA/Fantasy (PA?) confirmed 12/13 W moved out 05/14
Xmas eve here. Just wanting to wish all my friends a good Xmas day.
Kids and i are doing well and very busy.
Email from XH yesterday saying he was too busy (had to work - in the business that he owns!) to visit the kids on Xmas day. He has never worked on Xmas day for as long as we've had the business. He will be with OW and her family, and my kids know this.
So sad.
Noticed from card record that he drove to his teenage home town in the past 2 days - over and back, 14 hrs drive each way. Stopped off at his out-of-the way home suburb and bought a truckload of booze.
His crisis has its roots here (when he was 16), as far as i can work out.
Claims his mum abandoned him to go and live with his younger brother in another state. Big story about having to bake his own birthday cake for his 16th birthday.... And how he drove all night without stopping to come over to our city to visit his sick grandpa (this is the journey he just re-visited yesterday). The pieces all start to fit, with hindsight.
Anyway, enough about him. Off to shop for Xmas day lunch with my family at my place tomorrow.
I don't know...just when i think things are going OK, something pops out of the blue that's hard to deal with.
I've been taking the kids to the local cinema to pass the time after xmas.
MIL gave me a cinema pass for Xmas and so tonight we went to see Water Mitty.
It played in a small, 150-seat cinema, and guess who was there too?
Kids saw their dad as we waited to go in. He was there with OW and sat just in front of us in the opposite row.
Kids evening was spoiled.
We could see OW doing lots of exaggerated 'hand talking' during the ads before the start of the movie.
Us all being there at the same time was just plain weird.
We've gone to this local cinema about 100 times as a family over the years. And now we sit opposite each other (him with his affair partner instead of his kids) and ignore each other.
Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this sort of weirdness??
We just ignored him and waited until they had gone before we left.
But it doesn't make it any easier for the kids.
There is their dad, who they hardly see any more, sitting 5 seats away watching the same movie with this home-wrecker.
The truth is your xH is not a functioning human adult so you need to be a super woman/mom/person for your kids.
It is wrong for your H to ignore your kids so why not say "oh so strange running into you guys should we sit together?" I know this is weird and fake but is it the best possible option? Does it show your kids how to make the best out of a bad stitch?
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
I don't know NLW I am thinking along the lines of BM as well. Own the situation and go say hello - let the kids feel they are able to approach their dad? I honestly don't know. It's super hard on you but he is THEIR dad first and foremost. He doesn't belong to OW he belongs to them.
Sending you peace and strength.
And lots of love
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
