I'm sorry that things aren't going so well w/your h. It really is difficult when they live at home and continue to act out as if they are 12 all over again. Pudmuddle, only you can make the decision as to whether you can continue to tolerate him living at home or not. Maybe you need to revisit your options after the holidays and see how you feel then.
As for the Viagra, he may not miss it and assume he's misplaced it. Oh, well, it's gone and can't be brought back this time around.
Please take care of yourself and try to have a nice time over the holidays. Will you be visiting family and friends? If so, allow them to wrap you in their love and support during this time.
Hopefully the new year will bring some answers to your door.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm sorry Pud. I'm so sorry. I know how much it hurts and it's not fair and it's Christmas and you deserve so much better.
Do you want me to beat him up? He deserves it.
I'm sending you tons and tons of love.
Heather
P.S. The moment with your son was beautiful. It shows who really gets the shid end of the stick. We can only hold in the pain so long and our kids love us enough to know when we are hurting. There's a Christmas memory, your H created, and he doesn't even know it. Jeeeezus.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I just posted this on CC's thread. Thought it may help keep those crazy thoughts at bay, a little?
This writing really helps me keep the OW in perspective. I took it from The Lighthouse thread, originally written by Smurf. You can find the whole thing in the "MLC Resources in One Thread."
Quote:
Your spouse is in huge conflict. The good news is; and the truth is that they are totally incapable of a healthy relationship with anyone right now. The competition that we believe exists with the Other Person is a shallow, empty reflection of God's light in this world. It is empty and lonely no matter how good the rush.
Their actions are actions that they themselves do not like in themselves right now. Though the need to go back again and again and attempt to prove themselves wrong or right is strong, they do not like what they are doing.
Their actions toward you, the children, the Other Person, and themselves, as well as God, keep them from engaging in any type of real interaction with any real depth and truth.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Sending big hugs your way >>> (((Pud))). At least with the rest of the family around you at Christmas, you won't feel so lonely Be strong, we're there for you
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Heather, thank you so much. That is an awesome resource to have handy and read and reread many times. I remember reading this early on and forgot about it, so thank you for the reminder. Hugs back at you and you are a totally sweet person.
job, I CAN'T tolerate him living at home, lol, which is why I have asked him many times to move out, but he stays put. Supposedly for our S, so he says. I even told my son I might do this some day and S actually seemed ok with it! that surprised me.
Thanks for reminding me yet again to sit patiently and wait. I don't know how you stay so friendly while saying the same things over and over. You are the best job.
I am visiting his side of the family on Christmas, which they all love me, so it will be good. I can do this. as uR says Choose Happy. And fake it til you get there.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Pud, I felt pain in my stomach when I read your update today. I just felt everything you felt. I want to shake thing up and force some movement in my sitch too. Hang in there.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Be strong, we're there for you 