Reaching out for support and advice!!

[bluesgal]

I'm not sure. I guess it makes me feel like I can stop the pain I'm feeling. Like H can't reject me if I reject this situation. I feel so hopeless. I had another sleepless night and upset stomach. H is not going to participate in our traditional Christmas activities this year. It makes me so sad that his hatred for me and my family would make him not even want to participate.

He will miss his kids opening gifts and playing with them the first time. He will miss everything...and that is a choice he is making. I want to separate myself from this. I know...detach. Struggling. I was having a much easier time detaching when the kids and I moved out. Now, to see him and be in the same room. That is so hard.

His words last night "I feel next to nothing for you" rang in my head with every toss and turn in my failed sleep.