Aiming for the PMA of a glow worm....pt 3

[Not Quitting]

I think I've spent 90% of December pretending to do real work .

[TryingToDo180]

lol you two Hope the rest of your days go quickly then you can spend the holidays relaxing and de-stressing

[Not Quitting]

I got home from work yesterday to find a Christmas card from the last boss I had in the UK. We exchange letters every year at Christmas as a way of catching up with what's going on in our lives. I had deliberately mailed my card and letter to him early in the hopes of it getting to him before he mailed his to me and it worked as the card was addressed to just me and my son.

It was a comment he made in his letter that made me wonder how many other people had the same thought. He commented that he had always thought I was too good for my H. It didn't bother me; it just made me think. I've had a few of H's coworkers say the same thing.

[TryingToDo180]

I've had someone say that to me as well. She said that she always thought we didn't look right together and I can do better. I thought to myself, you didn't know us when we first got together, we were compatible then. I think the same goes for your old boss as well, it's like H said to me - We've grown apart. I'm beginning to think this myself.

[Not Quitting]

Sometimes I really think my H needs a good swift kick somewhere painful. I only saw him for a few minutes this morning when I dropped my son off for the day but in that time he still managed to bring the OW into his conversation. I really need to find some way to get it through his thick skull that I don't give two hoots about what they get up together or anything else about her that he keeps trying to share.

And to top it off, now he's not sure when he's going to be able to fit in a visit with our son for his birthday. Fair enough he's working nights on the day so dinner is out, but can't he do a lunch? And he doesn't think he's going to be able to see him on the weekend because it's OW's birthday 3 days after my son's . I really think he needs to get his priorities right .

[MileHigh]

I hope he manages to find the time. I think kids can pick up on the vibe if it seems like a chore to make time for them.

You may have to be very explicit in telling him you don't want to hear anything about the OW. But then, maybe you've done that a time or ten.

[TryingToDo180]

I agree, I think you need to set a boundary on this that you don't want to hear anything about the OW. My H has never done this, even when I knew he had an OW. Then again, the first time he wasn't an MLCer. It's helpful to post on the other forum as well and get their opinion. They deal mainly with MLC and some DB techniques. Sometimes I have to tell them about DB and 180s, lol.
It's so sad when they don't want to see their sons Again, I would put my foot down about this. Do you think he's getting his own back about you not offering to give him a lift on Christmas Eve? He may have gone into a childish sulk about this, lol. Hope it all works out ok

[Not Quitting]

I hope he manages to find the time. I think kids can pick up on the vibe if it seems like a chore to make time for them.

At least he had the sense to have the conversation by text and not within earshot of my son.

You may have to be very explicit in telling him you don't want to hear anything about the OW. But then, maybe you've done that a time or ten.

Is a smack upside the head or a good swift kick somewhere painful explicit enough? I’m getting very close to resorting to that step LOL .

I agree, I think you need to set a boundary on this that you don't want to hear anything about the OW. My H has never done this, even when I knew he had an OW. Then again, the first time he wasn't an MLCer. It's helpful to post on the other forum as well and get their opinion. They deal mainly with MLC and some DB techniques. Sometimes I have to tell them about DB and 180s, lol.

It’s either a deliberate attempt to upset me – he only started this after I stopped the moping stage. Maybe he doesn’t like it that I can be happy without him in my life. One of my friends suggested that I get myself a new fellow and start talking about where we've been going, and see if H likes it.

It's so sad when they don't want to see their sons Again, I would put my foot down about this. Do you think he's getting his own back about you not offering to give him a lift on Christmas Eve? He may have gone into a childish sulk about this, lol. Hope it all works out ok

He knows there is no way I’d offer him a lift even if he begged – I set that boundary months ago that I would never drive him anywhere that had anything to do with the OW. And as far as I know, he has complied with that boundary. I’d be more inclined to think it’s more to do with the fact that my son doesn’t want to meet the OW. H is more likely sulking about that as he’s mentioned more than once that both her and her son are looking forward to meeting him. S13 is sticking to his guns about not being ready to meet them. He has said he'd rather miss out on a visit with his dad than meet them.

[MileHigh]

S13 is sticking to his guns about not being ready to meet them.

I'll bet that just burns up the Trash... er... sorry, the OW.

[TryingToDo180]

I think you're right NQ, it would be a lot easier for him if he could combine both birthdays but it's not going to happen! He definitely sulking, oh poor me boohoo I'm not getting what I want Is this a 2 year old tantrum, lol. Next he'll be lying on the floor kicking and screaming, lol. You and your son enjoy his birthday without him and make sure it's a good one so H regrets missing out on it