I think i am content with my life. Its a challenge but i have a strong will. Ineed to get through the settlement and D, keep my teenage boys fed and clothed on a tighter budget than before because i'm close to running out of money, and finding a job because i'll be unemployed at the end of june.
But i take deep breaths when needed and keep putting a foot in front of the other. It's not easy but it's rewarding. I notice with all my "problems" that i see people around me more stressed and less happy, see it all the time. Some things get me down but i get back up.
The christmas ornament memory, instead of pushing past it, i think i need to dig into it more until it becomes just another part of me that makes me me, like the scars on my knees from the years of rollerskating as a kid. It will be ok.
I have peace and joy in my heart but worry on my brow as i head into these challenges. No mantra or platitude is going to get me a new job to feed my kids! Yikes. But i trust in my abilities.
Breathing.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
