Wife says she wants to leave (Part 2)

[bluesgal]

I appreciate the responses everyone, I will think about it for a while before I decide what I want to do.

Very wise

On another note. I know this is probably just Emotions today. But i'm really starting to just get pissed off.

Totally understand and can relate

Maybe follow that up with a Roar. Is it possible for a person to roar?

Very funny

I'm making a promise to myself to work out tonight, this is too much.

Good choice. Way to allow yourself to feel the emotions and still stay in control and true to your desire to act with class and dignity

[bluesgal]

Labug has a great point-this is grief. I'm going to review the stages, too.

[SM34]

Fear and anxiety from losing control of your life at BD, gave way to anger in the second stage. At some point, anger is replaced with acceptance...that is, IF you worl on it.

Many lbs get stuck in the anger phase forever. Don't get stuck here!

[SM34]

Cc how is it going? Been a few days...

[ccZ28]

Well it feels like it has been forever since I last checked in. In all honesty it has felt really good not worrying about my situation. Being here definitely helps with advice and working through issues, but I pretty much just totally disconnected from everything over the weekend.

I felt absolutely nothing this weekend. I kind of just forgot to care.

I know my W spoke with a lawyer on Friday. She wanted a few financial details from me. I gave her what she needed and just kind of fell off the map. She made it a point to say "I'm not filing, i just want to see what my options are".

Why delay the inevitable?

I had a few interactions with W this weekend. But i didn't feel excited like I usually get. These things just do not seem important anymore. Sleeping alone doesn't bother me anymore. She likes to keep me updated on her plans, where she is going, when, etc. I could literally give a crap.

She's going to do what she wants, and I have no control over it. Not saying I'm detached, but this weekend I was able to just shut her out.

Not really much day to day stuff to journal about, I didn't really take much of an account of what happened this weekend.

One positive thing; Met a friend at the gym. Seemed like a nice enough guy. It appears he has been working out far longer than me, so he said he could help me with some new routines.

All in all. My interest in this whole situation is waning.

[ccZ28]

Does anyone else get these kind of feelings? When things feel like they just don't matter?

The conversations, and the day to day just don't seem to be important enough to think about anymore.

In the grand scheme of things they are but a blip.

[bluesgal]

cc-I have had a lot of these feelings recently. I believe, for me, that it's a little depression sinking in. The emotions of BD and the aftermath are high and consuming for days/weeks/months. We start to DB and work really hard. Then, things get quieter, routine, and it seems like it's hard to care anymore.

I think I need to enjoy these quiet times because the alternative is reacting (or trying not to react) to drama of the sitch. When things are quiet, we can hear our thoughts and feel our feelings and it can cause me a lot of sad moments. Like the dust has settled a bit and you get to take a look at your new reality.

I know that I care about things in life that don't seem to matter to me right now. I will get there again. But, I will also choose not to sweat the small stuff. Hopefully, a happy medium.

I wonder if you dig deeper than the feelings of apathy, if you will discover other feelings, like sadness, perhaps. I've been told by wise DBer's to feel these feelings, let them come over you and ride the waves of the emotions, gently. Allow yourself to feel and then move forward. I suppose this is all part of our journey and process

[ccZ28]

If I only say one important thing on this entire forum, let it be this:

Men, Get your ass into the gym. Now. Don't wait. It has changed me. It gives me a purpose beyond coming home and living day to day. I'm eating right, I'm working out, I'm taking better care of myself better in every aspect.

Working your butt off and seeing results as the weeks go by is amazing. I have adjusted my diet to eat more complex carbohydrates and loads of protein and fresh fruit/veggies.

My body has never felt better. And guess what else? My mind feels better. My confidence has skyrocketed. I'm getting looks everywhere. People are noticing, and it feels awesome.

My W saw me with no shirt on again today, and stared at me as if i was Adonis reborn. She looked like a deer in caught in the headlights, I may even have heard the sound of a jaw hitting the floor. *THUD

Is she attracted to me? Your god dang right she is. Is it going to bring her back? Probably not, but it sure doesn't hurt!

Do you think my W is the only one doing this? Nope. Women are starting to see what I have to offer, and it is a complete EYE OPENER, after feeling like you are nothing, garbage, DISPOSABLE.

Maybe, just maybe you ARE WORTH IT.


Who here has had trouble eating? sleeping?

GO TO THE GYM AND BUST YOUR BUTT. My appetite right now is IMMENSE. Am i sleeping? Ohh yeah i'm sleeping, from wearing myself out.


PLEASE everyone here. If you only take my advice ONCE. Please take this. If you aren't working out, START.

If you are working out. WORK HARDER.

[ccZ28]

I forgot to add this.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BEARD.

GROW ONE!!!!

(this may only be in my situation, but the beard is a lady killer!!!)

[ccZ28]

Bump for Importance!