Wednesday, W calls. She admits she made some mistakes, but said I did too. I validated/agreed. She said I don't believe she loves me, but she does. She then returned to her list of grievances, which I have validated and empathized so many times. I tried telling her how I felt or feel (avoiding the troublesome "you" statements). She seems to refer to any relationship talk as "our argument." I know that's how she perceives it, but for me, my whole approach, what I say, how I respond is very different from any arguments we had in the past. For one, I am not disputing what she says. For another, I avoid anything that might seem like blame. She then made the comments that she "can't do it any more" and she doesn't want things to "become nasty." These statements of finality always send me reeling, but I try not to respond. She then abruptly ended the conversation.
I didn't like how th call ended, so I sent her a brief email a few hours later saying that I wanted to learn and grow. She told me to "take a chill." That she didn't want to deal with it now.
So the first few days of my trip, I have felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.
How do I change this cycle of relationship talk (which she brings up)?
Tell me again how not to believe the finality she expresses?
Someone help me see the positives. I really feel like I no longer know how to act.
