wife hardens heart-6

[planet]

Plus your communication with her is not going to improve until you start improving it. You have two young children. You HAVE to talk to her about them for their sake. If not, they are going to grow up with two parents who hate each other. They will carry that into their adult relationships.

You can be the one to grow up.

So far I really haven't seen you change. All I've seen you do is run.

Yeah. You called me out on running. I know I am. Not proud of it.

What do you suggest that I do? XW spews when she disagrees with me.
How many times do I have to hear that she hates my mother or Curses my mother or I'm a bad husband or Bad father or everything that goes wrong in the world is my fault?

I requested that she keeps me in the loop regarding D3's health. Got shot down.
I requested that she I would like to visit their recreational classes. Got shot down.
I told her not to have my kids refer to OM as daddy. Got shot down.
I told her not to have OM sleeping in same room as my kids. Got shot down.

She has put in every one like her parents, sister, OM as her shield. She is feeding them with her side of the story. Her family even suggested that she restricts my visitation. She told them I'm still the kids father even though I've became a crazy controlling monster. Her father suggest that I become a part time daddy. Let XW and OM become the parents. Visit them less.

When I questioned her about the things I felt is not right. She gets defensive.
She has no problems telling me off when she felt that I did wrong.

Don't you see it? She has to be right all the time. She has to win everything. She doesn't care how I feel or what I want.

Thought I show some kindness by helping to fix things around the house. No thank you. No appreciation. Nothing changed.

I just don't know how to talk to her anymore. Might sound silly to you but I think it's best that I leave her alone. Just NC unless it's about the kids which where we are at the moment. She just ask of my visitation schedule and nothing else.

Planet, is she not following the custody order or agreement?

From what I've read and what I see, you're D and have been for several months, she lives in the house and now owns it, you get to go there and see the kids, the kids go places with you.

You and W don't get along right now, most D people don't in the beginning. From my vantage point things look not perfect but not terrible.

What say you, Planet?

Yes she is following the agreement.
What she didn't tell her family is that she gets to go to jail if she ever dishonor it but she made it look like she is giving me my time graciously.
Before the D, she told me that I could visit them everyday and can stay overnight on weekends. After D, she's different. She felt that I'm taking too much time. She can't plan this and that.

Yes, she allows me into her home to visit my kids and take the kids out.

It's not perfect but it not terrible if I stay away from her.
Mind reading but I feel she wants me completely out of her life so she can have OM as the father of my kids. In her perfect world, I do not exist.