It is well with my soul

[RosaLinda]

Hello, checking in and wow, thank you all so much for checking up on me! It has been a week since H and I decided to split up, and he is back to acting MLC-normal (not sane-person-normal). Most of the nastiness has gone, which makes me wonder whether in his MLC craziness, he was trying to goad me into kicking him out so that he would not be the "bad one" who walked out on his wife of 38 years.

We went to a Christmas party at his mom's house last night. It was sort of melancholy for me, as I had promised H not to tell people he would be leaving until after the holidays. So I was wondering if this would be the last time I saw all of these people I have loved so much for so many years, and was not able to tell them goodbye. I gave them all extra hugs and kisses and took a lot of pictures. Especially my nieces. I was so sad thinking they are only my nieces by marriage. But later I was thinking, after talking about it to uRw, that these family members love my H because he is their relative. But they love me for myself. My nieces especially, and my God daughter in particular. They have two slightly unsatisfactory aunts; why would they drop the "fun" aunt who takes them shopping and does stuff with them just because their uncle, who never even talks to them, was stupid enough to leave? I do love my girl.

H got very drunk at the party, and had a lot of fun playing Christmas carols on the piano after most everyone had gone home. The couple of us left stood around singing. It was a lot of fun. H acted pretty obnoxious at one point, and was trying to get everyone to drink vodka while sniffing rye bread, which he claims is some kind of Russian custom.

I got a chance to use one of FY's truth darts, when he suddenly stopped playing carols and started playing Russian folk songs. Grrrr. So I went and sat in the living room with my son. H asked me why I left and I told him I did not want to hear anything about Russia - not about how they drink vodka, not about their weather, and especially do not want to stand around and sing Kalinka with his sisters.

There is seriously something wrong with him. I am pretty excited because our grand kids are coming over tonight to decorate our Christmas tree. And H is full of complaints that he has to see them 3 times in one week. Yikes, I'd be glad to see them every day. AND our S28 developed a man problem, epidymitis and a varocele. I spent all morning in the ER yesterday. He was writhing in pain. He's okay, probably won't need surgery, they think antibiotics will clear it up. But wouldn't you think that H would be concerned enough about his son to at least enquire how he is feeling? No, he just complained that S28 did not go to his grandma's party last night, and said he did not believe him that he felt too uncomfortable to go. Wonka is right, H truly lost his sensitivity chip somewhere. I really do not like him very much today.

It seems so strange to have gone from dying and crying for his love to done in a split second.

Overall, I am doing pretty well. Singing and dancing around the house, listening to music, and working. I feel a great sense of relief. And think that means that this was the right decision.