Your sentence: "Please do not default on the mortgage. If it is behind please rectify and keep it current." I don't see this as asking him not to...it is more of a statement telling him not to. Change it to a question and indicate you are willing to work w/him in taking care of this matter. I think he'll be more receptive to listening to what you have to say.
I chose the words "I have to accept that these are your decisions at this time" because they are his decisions and it is the way he feels right now. Your decisions were not even considered, I put the onus back on him.
I chose the words that I did for the gifts because you want him to include you on them. You can also add that you've placed his name on the gifts to his siblings.
As for my sentence about coming by to visit his daughters during Christmas...it's not meant to be abrupt at all, but he has specifically stated that he only wants to have contact w/you via email or text. By stating that his daughters will be there, it lets him know that he is still welcome. For now...maybe he might want to see your daughters in the home setting. A step in the right direction if he knows that the door isn't shut tightly and you are willing to allow him to come there to visit w/them. Of course, you can rephrase it and say visit w/the family since I do not know who you have coming over during the holidays...but I do know your daughters will be there for some of it. He may not wish to see anyone at this time.
I have learned that you get more from a mlcer is you ask questions versus coming off as telling them what to do or not do. They don't like anything that sounds like we are telling them what to do. By asking in a roundabout way w/questions, it gives them option to maybe see things your way too.
You asked for feedback, so I gave you my feedback. The beauty of feedback is to use what you can and the rest toss out. I realize you are going to do what you think is best, but I'm suggesting that you rethink how you are going to respond to him and use questions versus telling him. The written word can come off as dictating and as you have interpreted my postings as "abrupt" you can see how it does affect what you are trying to get across. Also, you do not want to come off sounding like a mother or an authority figure when you are trying to get him to do something.
Just my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
