Learning from yesterday, Living for today!

[chasingpavements]

You're right labug.. a long journey and we are making progress. Sometimes I get overwhelmed.

Yes, it is progress for him to talk to me about these things. And he seems to be so driven to want to work on things. Even the fact that he has arranged the counselor for us to go to is a HUGE step for him, I was SO surprised!! Normally I would have to nag him about it,this time I didn't say anything at all!

We ended up having another discussion after I posted here. I was feeling so emotional and just burst out crying. He asked me what was wrong and I told him I was feeling so sad about everything. He told me not to worry, that it will take time and that's why we are doing the counseling. (Even him saying that to me was big step for him!). I told him I was upset because things had started off more affectionate and now I felt we are moving backwards and I am missing the affection.

I asked him if I could tell him what I needed, or if he thought that was a bad idea since it might lead to me getting upset if it didn't happen how I imagined. He admitted that was a worry of his, but he encouraged me to tell him what I need. (again I was surprised at his reaction!)

I told him that for starters we could hug upon greeting and leaving each other, and I would like if he could initiate one kiss or hug during the day. He agreed that was reasonable. I told him that would help a lot.

So we made it through! I was all worked out of shape and thinking I would be upset during the holidays, all over something silly and we worked it out.

Sometimes tiny little things like that make me become fearful but I must realize this is a process and we are doing pretty good!

We seem to be having little breakthroughs here and there with our interactions. Like him calling me out when I am holding back on telling him something and me telling him how I feel when I would normally be too afraid. Also he is opening up to me quite a bit.

Ok, I will breathe now!!