Mediation and the realization........PartV

[slow_it_down]

What hurts the most, by FAR the most painful- I dont know if D4 will ever know the amazing woman that I married and who gave birth to her.

This struck a chord with me as I was just having a conversation with my mom the other day about how things have changed 7 years after my first marriage ended. My first H had an affair and I handled it 100% in the worst way possible. At one point I asked if I didn't make him pay child support if he'd give up all rights to our kids. I was devastated that he actually said yes. He even signed the very one-sided separation agreement I drew up just to be done and over with everything. Looking back I think he was embarrassed and had many other emotions that he would have done or said anything to get a break from it.

It took time, and a lot of cutting him slack with the kids, but he's a great father and is really involved in their lives. Back then he basically begged me to move far away. A year or so later he moved states and careers to be with them. It wasn't until after the guilt/pressure subsided that he could relax and get back to being a good dad.

I know what your W is doing is painful, but if you love her you have to hold out hope that she just needs some time to get some really ugly things out of her system.