Learning from yesterday, Living for today!

[chasingpavements]

Thanks labug. I think she will be good. She seems to understand my husband quite well..which is a task in itself as he is often so hard to read. lol.

I am feeling quite sad. I brought up the affection issue with my H this morning. I told him that I would like more affection. I expressed that when we were starting to reconcile he showed me lots of affection, and I felt so loved. I felt better than I have in years, that I didn't realize it was possible to have a marriage like that, that I was so happy and it felt so good.

I told him that I feel sad now because I feel like it's not like that anymore and asked what might have changed between then and now. He said that it feels awkward sometimes. He told me that he has spoken about affection with his counselor. He said that she feels that he might be holding back in order to punish me. I told him that sometimes it feels that way. I said that I didn't feel it was fair that he was only reaching out to be affectionate when he wanted to make love, and he agreed.

I feel so lost and alone right now and angry. I feel like I want to isolate myself from him in order to protect myself and my feelings. I recognize this is a pattern I often get into. At least I am recognizing it, although I don't know what to do.

Needing help and support, feeling so lost.