Yeah, I wouldn't be cool about the Santa on Christmas day. Christmas day IS family day. You still have boys/kids at home and he is behaving like a teenage boy.
Step back and try and remember how when we were teens , we did Christmas, and then everyone wanted to escape and go play with the others. We wanted to talk about what we got, and be with other teens.
It sounds just like that!
Sharing is what I'd hope I could do. I know I'm a burier and would not want to cause him resentment, so I'd stuff it.
This would be repeating the same pattern and behavior.
Before you share your disappointment , have at least two or three alternatives.
Such as:
Christmas Eve rather than Christmas day
You and he go as Mr. and Mrs. Clause. OR
If it has to be Christmas day, you ALL go as Mr. and Mrs. Clause and some workshop elves!
As for the drinking , this is a growing pattern. Does he transition personalities or become more Mr. Life O'Theparty ?
Is he driving after drinking? Not good, you guys have come so far, and killing someone or himself would be horrible. There needs to be some boundaries or agreements . Designated driver, taxi, get a limo?
He is not only risking himself but he is also modeling for your sons. They are watching his decisions and behaviors. It is imprinting on them, overtly and subliminally.
Sorry if I've overstepped, I am concerned.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
