Informal Poll: Onset of MLC

[Ambivalent]

Interesting thread.
Fall 2011, Daughter goes to college, I go into depression, cry much.

Notice he's more moody, staying out later and later with poker.


Spring of 2012, I'm out in back working like a dog in the garden. He starts a fight, blurts out " I'm not happy ". Eventually, you need to get a job.

I'm shocked at the passion, and said I'm on board, within a week I figure out what I want to do , and let him know I have to go back to school.

During Summer I produce a ton of jams and jellies, husband's picture on FB. He posts " Why do I look so old? "

He decides I have to wait 'til Fall.

Between then and February His Father dies, his friend commits suicide.

Picks little fights and blows them up. It was power and control things. Nit picking.

Jan. 2012 Now figures he can swing it, and wants me in school.

My gut told me something when we were signing the contract.

April H. loses job , second time in five years.

Mother's day buys me gorgeous flowers and gives me a card .

Within two days of that. Kablooey !

Prior to the beginning, he had made financial decisions that he kept juggling. He would choose to ignore a bill and things started piling up. We both spent money. I really didn't know the financial situation.

He has had a pattern of going into denial when things didn't go as planned or if he over projected an outcome. If something bothered him, he may try to start a conversation, but was vague, or would blurt something and then seemed at ease, like he got it off his chest and then everything was okay.

He was actually burying . It was a constant pattern, until it got too big. The financial pattern would keep repeating, and he didn't know how to stop it, couldn't cope anymore. "Something had to change." We did clear up debt before we purchased eight years ago. No car payments, no credit cards or debt other than mortgage and private school. Then things started again.

Rather than seek help, he let it build up started feeling more and more pressure, didn't feel included . It was daughter and I and then there was him , he told us. We immediately tried to rectify, but then nothing was satisfying him. He felt disconnected, alone, lonely, and started resenting.

It was all going on within himself. He was looking at a way to escape, feel better. I and our marriage must be the problem. It had to be that! If only, I woulda coulda should have, what I'd give to have the money I spent on the family room back.

Now it's I'm not coming back.

Boy if you could write a script...never mind , he is FOLLOWING the script.

So I guess he's following the same path as those before him. This will be his third year, but only 7 months since drop.

I would wait it out, but he is desiring to default so he can really play. Medicate with sex, going to bars and clubs, more poker.

I'm concerned he has to crash hard before he wakes up.