It doesn't work that way with a WAS. Forcing a blowout will ensure that you're that much closer to S and D. She is on a journey of her own, probably just at the beginning of it. You need to remove yourself from the picture so she can take that journey. You do that by giving her TIME and SPACE. Every single thing you do to try and "wake her up" is a distraction that takes her away from her journey and impedes her process. You CANNOT wake her up, her journey is a long, slow one that only she can make and all you can do is get out of the way. If her lifelong goal was to complete a marathon, and she was finally running it, would you "help" her by picking her up in your car and driving her to the finish line?
Quit trying to fix things. Quit trying to control the sitch. Let her run her race at her pace.
Another Stander,
I will try to follow this advice. I know many here whose spouses have left may find it hard to swallow, but my happiest evening in days has been tonight. W went to sleep at a female friend's house, and I have the kids.
Acting "as if", especially these first few weeks of knowing about the EA (maybe PA) has been more difficult.
_________________________ Me: 37 W: 37 M: 11 D:5 S:2 IDLYA, W removed rings, BD 07/13 EA/Fantasy (PA?) confirmed 12/13 W moved out 05/14
