wife hardens heart-6

[planet]

Mindreading. Fact is that you've been avoiding her because you're scared of her. Since you're losing that connection, you're forgetting how to talk to her. You need to find a way to re-establish that.

Ok, it's mind reading. Chances are 99%, she's going to freak out on me if I do things she doesn't agree with.
There's nothing she's even remotely interested to have anything to do with me much less talk. The only thing she will try to communicate is when she wants something from me and my visitation schedule. Even then, she's rude.
So that's why I have decided to back off as much as possible. Give her time and space.
I told xMIL that I will not be having dinner at XW's on weekdays. I have stop accepting offers from XW like lunches or dinners on weekends when I come over to pick up the kids. I think she got the hint the first couple of times.
I doing this to protect my own heart. I don't want to expect anything from her. I want space too.

Stop being so afraid of a scumbag who is taking your place in YOUR family. Learn to be in the same place as him and stop avoiding him. If you disagree with something he is doing, bring it up. It doesn't need to be in anger, but you need to assert yourself.

XW and I ceased to be a family and she has a BF now. I have no say who she wants to live with even it's only on weekends.
Why would I want to be in the same place where she picks out something his plate to eat and he hers? Or he goes upstairs to my bedroom or bathroom? Or he when uses my computer? I'm not detached enough to be ok with any of that.

Planet - I see you as I saw myself initially with XW1. I was terrified to do anything contrary for fear of finally ending my M, even though OM had moved in with her. My kids loved the new apartment as it was fresh and exciting, and XW1 bought them fun stuff.

My M has ended. There's nothing that I could do to bring that back.
I don't want to have to talk to XW and have her frustrate me for no good reason. I'm tired of that.
It's like I'm starting a convo with subject 'A' and she disagrees and brings up 'B'. When I try to explain 'B', she goes 'C' and 'D'. I say let's go back to 'A'. She have nothing of it and goes 'E' and back to 'B'. Round and round. Nothing got to do with 'A' at all.