It was the best of times it was the worst of times

[KdogGS]

Thanks all- this is what I sent-

Hello W,

I appreciate your commitment to continue discussing these matters in a civil manner moving forward.

I am really sorry to hear about the car dying on you.

Regarding the house- when you say "Selling the house right now would be a wash (any profit going towards closing costs and realtors)" can you give me your breakdown and thought process on what that means to you? I want to make sure I understand what you mean.

How would we handle the expenses we put into renovations since we bought the house? How would we factor in my down payment on the CA house?

Also, a letter arrived addressed to both of us from from St. Louis, MO. It is in the garage on the gray tote, feel free to pick it up at your leisure.

Respectfully,

H

[KdogGS]

Thank you, that all makes sense. I'm just gathering information at this time, she has not once asked me how we should divide things or anything. It's interesting to see how she has divided things in her mind already as to who gets what without talking to me about it.

[Wonka]

MUCH, MUCH better!! Good job, KDog. Keep coming around for drafts and we'll gladly help you along the process.

[KdogGS]

I want to thank you all so much for your help. As I know you all know and can relate to, this is all just absolutely devastating for me. I will continue to bring drafts here for your advice. In other news, heading to the riverwalk tomorrow night for another urban hike, should be fun!

[Mimi00]

Great job K on using the advice you got for the email.
Enjoy the Riverwalk and hike this weekend.

[KdogGS]

Thanks Mimi, I'll be coming back for advice, I feel like things are changing in regard to how I should respond to her. I see that I kind of look like a doormat at this point.

May I ask how things are in your neck of the woods? How are you doing?

[labug]

KdoGS ((( )))

Your original draft took me back a couple of years. I would write crap that sounded totally reasonable and objective and a friend would read it and red line it to 2 sentences.

I would "but, but, I want to say" and she would say "but he doesn't want to hear it and this is all you need to say in this conversation about this subject."

She was right, it took me a long time before I didn't get my emails edited by someone.

I hope you can feel good about these things: you're learning everyday, you're not stuck at the corner of Bitterness and Resentment (you may visit there occasionally but it's not your perm address), you're sober, you're becoming the man you were meant to be.

Enjoy today. Looks like a cloudy day here.

Now about these urban hikes. Are there routes or do you make your own? Is this a planned group activity? Guess I should google it.

[KdogGS]

They are through meetup dot com! It's pretty sweet, a bunch of random people get together that share an interest. There are organizers for a bunch of different activities. Board games, knitting, social clubs, hiking, movie lovers. I've had fun every time I go

[Mimi00]

May I ask how things are in your neck of the woods? How are you doing?

Thanks for asking. Im okay....i've probably cried everyday for the last week or so, sometimes I think I am getting worst and not better; but I think its because the "deadline" I gave my self for "standing" (Jan 1st) is right around the corner and there has been no change at all in our contact....so letting go is going to be scarey. I have no idea if he filed the petition already or if he's waiting until after the holidays, but no updates from him there.

I called my H at the end of November b/c our car insurance policy mysteriously changed...he claimed he didn't change it and asked why I would think that? um helloooooooo. The issue is corrected now, he fixed it immediately. He was on his way to snowboard with his BFF/possible OW that day when I called, so that was all we discussed. He's posted pics with her multiple times now on FB and her family visited there recently and included my H in their family/holiday pics standing in from of the tree etc...

So. Yeah. I plan to take the money he owes me from our savings then remove my name from our joint accounts at the start of January and begin my "new year/new life". Free from all connections to him...deleting his number from my phone (I dont know it by heart), blocking him on all social media...and really move on. There's a really cute guy at the church I go to now...he's DJ'ing the churches new years party....so I was thinking i'd get a chance to start the new year on a positive note by introducing my self....but unfortunately I found out in have to work that night. Lol

Not much room for GAL this month b/c im working extra hours to be able to cover everything myself since I won't have access to his money after this month. So im getting used to being on my own 100%.

Sorry for taking up so much room in your thread w/ my response!

[labug]

Thanks, K. I've done some trail hikes with meet-up groups but I like the urban hike thing too. We have a walk/run here on Monday nights, 2, 3 or 4 miles through the downtown area with lots of other activites. It's always fun.